REALITY?: Some Thoughts…

…on approaching the ending of another decade.

This morning I found this closing as part of a comment on Dean’s anacronym weblog:

I am John, and I used to be excellent.

Wow.  That says so well exactly what I’ve been feeling these last couple of years. 

Starting almost a decade ago I made up my mind to take over my life again, time was growing short and I had to dump the negativity and go after what really meant anything to me to do because riding the rut was useless and wasteful of the gifts.  So I wrote a book, went to school, pursued what I thought I wanted most of all and had a knack for doing and worked hard.  And put a lot of money into it as well, though nowhere near the time and mental dedication.  Sadly, nothing came of this new direction in life though meeting some good people and having some great moments cannot be discounted since they would not have been known had I not taken that new path.

Sometimes despite your best intentions there’s a combination of things like timing and past history and attitude that can’t be overcome and that work together to ensure it doesn’t work.  We probably each have our time when had we made certain choices it would have brought us what we sought.  Most of us are off on timing because we didn’t recognize the moment.  Now, we may be too close to our expiration date to be considered useful any more.  By others, in the seeking of employment.  By ourselves, in putting satisfaction versus effort on what we want.  Too, I’m not what I once was though in some ways I am better.  In others, memory may be a bit colorized but I can’t help thinking…

I am Susan and I used to be excellent.

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LITERATURE: October Sale Days

Getting hopped up for the Burlington Library Book Sale and frankly, without the bias of it being my own town these folks seem to have a higher literary acknowledgement judging from the books available versus a couple of the surrounding towns.

So I have my list prepared of those I’ve noted on the bottom right sidebar and I’ve remembered this time to also start a list of the newer bestsellers that I’ve not even thought of buying yet since I’ve got years and years of "bestsellers" to catch up on.  But since they’re likely to be on the shelves for the price of $2.00, I’m going to be looking out for:

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khalid Hosseini
The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing
Lisey’s Story by Stephen King
Jamestown by Matthew Sharpe
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

Any other suggestions before the October 26th sale?

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REALITY?: Me and My Insula

You do learn some interesting things from the AARP bulletins and in this particular case, the knowledge was immediately understood and recognized.

The article was about retirement planning and one of the tips was about thinking over any purchases very carefully.  A study of the process involved indicated that when viewing something that is desired, a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens processes the pleasant sensations.  When viewing the price tag, another part called the insular cortex, or insula, is the naysayer that creates the conflict or guilt. 

So this is likely why I made the decision today to buy what I needed for the main computer after 6 months of waffling.  My insula has been compromised by Chantix. Had I not missed my afternoon dosage, maybe I would’ve bought the Mac. 

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TECHNOLOGY: Repairs

Well I spent some time today under a self-established deadline (because I need one, it’s my nature) and ended up getting a barebones system that gives me 2 GB of memory, an Intel Pentium D 3.0 Ghz Processor, a 200-GB hard drive, case, etc plus an unneeded DVD drive for only a bit more than what I needed to replace without upgrading the memory, processor and drive. You never can simply repair without ending up upgrading at the opportunity. I also had to consider that Win XP is on the hard drive of this machine and unless I want to have trouble transferring it (thank you Bill Gates), the 200 GB drive will just be a second drive.

I still would like to get a new monitor, but I don’t need it (wait, I’ll find out that’s gone too) and I’m sure that maybe the graphics card won’t fit or won’t work but this is what you go through when you build your own.  At least I can usually use the parts from one to upgrade another, though what’s happened with this last system was the different type of memory and now that won’t fit in the other two old bangers.

It just wasn’t time to lay out money on a Mac and a half (laptop) since I haven’t really been actively writing or creating anything or even playing with Alice for a while, though at the mention of her name I’m getting a little hot and bothered.  But even if I change my mind again and write something or play in Flash this system should handle it without any problems.

There.  I did it.  It’s done.

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CURRENT AFFAIRS: Politics

It’s clear that I’m woefully out of tune with a society that would have Hillary Clinton holding the lead in this campaign and so I’ll quietly retreat from this part of life as well and beat my drum softly so only I can hear it.

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REALITY?: Kid Nation – Fun

This is great:  One of the 9 year-old boys is terribly homesick and misses his girlfriend–his love since third grade. He wipes away tears as he touches her photo and letter.

His good buddy listens, gives him this advice: "I think you should find something to do to get your mind off it.  Looking at cows is fun."

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CURRENT AFFAIRS: Kid Nation – Religions at War

I’ve been enjoying the CBS show Kid Nation but I’m learning a lot about society in noticing the same tendencies in these kids as I see on so many of the adult reality shows.  There’re individuals that stand out for one reason or another good or bad, and Kid Nation has Taylor, the 10 year-old bossy little b…. who goes around telling everyone to "deal with it!" that would have had her swinging from the nearest cottonwood in my town by now.  But there’s more telling things about our current culture as a whole.

How very sad, from the very instant that the idea is brought up of a single religious service for all to share, these children, aged 8 to 15 are immediately spouting off what they’ve been taught by their parents:  Religion always leads to war.  And they start to fight.

But here’s where childhood innocence overcomes rhetoric.  They got together, bowed heads, and shared a short period of peace and celebration and felt better for it.

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LITERATURE: Flatland – The Film

101007lIsn’t he just adorable?

This might be something cool–Flatland, the film might just be something I’d like to get a hold of and do a comparison of both medium and culture, especially since there’s over a century between the writing and the movie rendition.  The website for the film is here.

That’s obviously a Sphere above, a native of Spaceland, since there’s shadow and light reflections that indicate the depth that a Flatlander just ain’t got.  What I’m assuming is Square looks like a flatter version of Spongepants Bob.

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LITERATURE: Flatland – Statement

Hah!  It wasn’t his educational reputation he was worried about, nor political and social shunning.  Edwin Abbott originally published Flatland under a pseudonym.  I strongly suspect it was for his very life he feared once this got out:

Not that it must be for a moment supposed that our Women are destitute of affection.  But unfortunately the passion of the moment predominates, in the Frail Sex, over every other consideration.  This is, of course, a necessity arising from their unfortunate conformation.  For as they have no pretensions to an angle, being inferior in this respect to the very lowest of the Isoceles, they are consequently wholly devoid of brainpower, and have neither reflection, judgment nor forethought and hardly any memory.  Hence, in their fits of ffury, they remember no claims and recognize no distinctions. 

(…) Obviously then a Woman is not to be irritated as long as she is in a position where she can turn around.   (p. 13)

Women in Flatland, you see, are shaped like needles, and of course if they face you head on, they can hide in near invisibility and hell, if you back into them or they come at you, you’re dead meat.  Besides, they’re also dumber than a rock–albeit a dramatic rock.

Evidently satire, but as Abbott indicates, there’s no telling how intolerant and downright nasty some folks can get when led by emotion.

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LITERATURE: Flatland – Dimension

What’s so great about this novel is that it illustrates its points in dimensioning, i.e., a triangle or square is drawn as a figure.  In Flatland, these actual figures are seen only as straight lines and the image of triangle, square, etc., only from above, which would be height as height and width (or breadth) are the only two dimensions known to its inhabitants.  Light or brightness coming off the angles of the form can indicate what that form can be, regardless of its line-appearance.

What’s even better about this novel is that even though it’s likely a one-day read, I tend to drag it out and think about it a while and make references of my own.  One reference is back to The Life of Geronimo Sandoval and string theory which is what led me to Flatland as a next-up choice of reading. 

Another is to my own favorite subject of perception.  My husband’s outright laugh after all these years has come down to a tolerant smile as I tell him that a six-inch plane flew overhead yesterday.  As a design engineer he has learned to come through the process of hand-drawing three-dimensional objects on paper all the way to the computer rendering of three-dimensional prototypes with the CAD software available. 

In one way, once you learn about something new you only see that new viewpoint.  For example, those poster images where you stare at them long enough you’ll see a "hidden" image composed of certain colored dots.  My gynecologist has one on the ceiling of the examination room. Once you have attuned your eyes and senses to see the image, you’ll almost always find it immediately after that.

Another thought:  Why can’t televsion and movie film shoot the three-dimensional and present it as such, or through a filter so that the red/green cellophane eyewear or the stereoscope for stills isn’t required at this last viewing stage, but built in somewhere earlier in the process?

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TECHNOLOGY: What a PITA

It never used to be this hard to upgrade but then again I never had to just replace a motherboard and CPU before.  And that’s where the problems merely begin.

Form factor (ATX), Socket type (though the CPU and m/b are both being replaced so it doesn’t matter), but then I have to make sure the components I have will fit: memory is the right type (speed); IDE connection for a floppy; the right power supply (both ample wattage AND, what I didn’t realize, the 20-pin connection has since been replaced by a 24-pin on the newer boards); the video card, and a few other things.  This all means I’m reading pages and pages of specs.  And, getting halfway down before I realize something or the other means it’s not going to work.

It’s been frustrating and that’s why I spend so much time on it and then drop it in aggravation, going through all the possibilities of just motherboard and processor vs. barebones vs. new pc.  If I need too many items that can’t integrate my perfectly good parts, then a new system may be the most cost efficient and give the least amount of trouble with compatibility in building. 

Just about ready to shelve the research yet again but the laptop screen has been going black again.

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REALITY?: Or is it…?

Okay, so lately an awful lot of coincidences have been happening, and I won’t even mention the 3:33 a.m. (digitally displayed, as I sit up to peer over the mountain of man between me and the clock) random wakeups for the past two months–especially if you’ve been watching CSI: New York

I haven’t mentioned the Beatles or posted about them often here–likely once before if at all, but today I did because Strawberry Fields has been running in my mind.  A visit to the J-Walk weblog just now hinted–and I confirmed it via Google–that today is John Lennon’s birthday.  I liked the group, but was certainly not a bawling fan, heading in the direction of folk music at that point in my life, so I had no clue it was Lennon’s birth date and he would have been 67 today.

I knew it was my dear friend Chris’, though.  She would have been 59.

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REALITY? & LITERATURE: Life and Art

There are tragedies that seem so heartbreaking that nothing could surpass them.  Yet for some people it is compounded by a series of events that one minute, one step in a different direction, one thought, might have kept them from it all.  My husband works with the young father and their office is just reeling from the news.  My heart goes out to this family for their loss and the pain they must be feeling.

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PEOPLE: Francisco Toledo

Absolutely amazing artwork by Mexican artist Francisco Toledo.  The color, the life, the subject matter that juxtaposes human figures with those of animals, in particular, rabbits, the graphically sexual, the mix of realism with abstract, all eye-catching and inspiring of freedom to be.  And in yet another coincidence of life, a son, born in 1972 named Jeronimo.

Thanks to Scott at Conversational Reading for the link.

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LITERATURE: The Life of Geronimo Sandoval – And the Beatles

Related to the previous posting on how life sequences can often be encapsulated in lyrics, I found too that readings often require what is commonly called suspension of disbelief, that is, willingness to accept the possibilities, therefore effectively squelching that little voice that says "but it can’t!"

In Sandoval, the main character of Ham is trying to account for life happenings by pinning it down to unknown formulas that could possibly apply.  By asking "if", the potential opportunity to find an answer widens to a tree-like graph of branches of thought and patterned with leaves of circumstance.  But answers don’t always come in clearcut patterns, just as looking at the sky through leaves is a composite of layers that happen at the same time, overlapping without touching each other in different planes of depth and, at different times.  So what one sees is never what is seen by another.  Never the same to the same again.

Very often in literature, as in life, a tempering tone of "nothing is real" — the 70s version of today’s "whatever" is helpful.

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