LITERATURE: Watchmen & Perception

I wondered why my busy brain this morning swirled around politics, human rights, society–things I am not willing to go into on Spinning because that is not its purpose and would only invite arguments instead of comments about reading and writing. I didn’t say I had no thoughts–I said I had nothing to say. But the thoughts were born of reading Watchmen, and have finally swirled and spun themselves into a nucleus of thesis statement based on the perception of both the characters and reader. I’m off and running with it!

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WRITING:

Well it was bound to happen eventually. Woke up this morning without a goddamned thing to say. Yet.

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LITERATURE: Watchmen

This afternoon I finished reading Watchmen. Slight bit of a letdown, but mostly because I was really getting into the stories–all of them. It actually ended well, and not that much of a surprise as far as traditional endings go. If I had been asked at the end of Chapter 10 or so how this would end, I would have guessed something very similar. The only surprise to me might be Rorschach, but what else could we do with him?

Found some graphic novels on the internet this evening. Interesting addition of allowing you to view two pages of panels at once, or have the option of full frame single panel. Dopey story, but the concept was kind of neat. Don’t know why, but realized that I also prefer comic book style graphics over the much more elaborate graphics of computer games. Perhaps this is only because I have seldom played them and would get used to them and hunger for better and more realistic as is the natural human tendency. The combined experience of Interactive Fiction and Graphic Novels however does make me want to dig out (pause, looked for and found) Pandora’s Box and Puzz3D’s Bavarian Castle just out of curiousity. Meanwhile, piles of books await me as well: how to write’s, Taylor, Munro, America’s Best Short Stories; Glimmertrain’s last three quarterly issues of short fiction. Another quarterly magazine, Sun Magazine, I believe, I just subscribed to but am finding sadly lacking in both amount and diversity of content. It seems to be politically biased and thus to me, a stranglehold on the free thought that creativity should dictate. I’m setting aside certain days for certain routine chores, total concentration on the business, classwork, and allowing myself all the rest for reading and writing (with time allotted for loving husband, of course).

I’ll eyescan Watchmen again a couple times quickly and decide what impressed me most–or surprised me the most–to select a topic of analysis.

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INTERACTIVE FICTION: A Carrot on A Stick

I must organize my time to accomplish some measure of doneness to both the wannados and the haftados. I haven’t had the chance to go back to Anchorhead and get in much deeper than I’ve gone before. It’s like that special prize that I hold off in the distance—the promise of an ice cream sundae when you clean your room, the carrot on the stick that leads the rabbit onward oblivious to the pack of dogs behind him.

And there are more, I’m sure that I’ll want to get into. Shrapnel I’ve abandoned; same with Autumn Muse. If I search online I’m overwhelmed with opportunity, and facing the amount of stimulation that is out there, I back away in confusion. Rather, I will savor going back to visit Anchorhead, the way I used to feel upon buying Stephen King’s latest book. Perhaps tomorrow, if the haftado Spanish written assignment can be done tonight.

A question for the esteemed professors: Are IF titles properly italicized or underlined?

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WRITING: Blogging

Have been playing leapblog since five a.m. Yes, of course I do it all the time, but just one concerted effort without being sidetracked was this morning’s goal. In a search for interesting logs, for writers who moved me, for talent and skill, for something different, for that elusive element of voice—on the off chance that mine is hiding in someone else’s head.

I found them. And then I found them, and found some more. More and more and more until outstanding became mundane. This is what I’m missing in my writing, I’d think, this is what I should strive for; what makes the difference. But whether the world is stuffed with wondrous writers or I’m a complete jackass of a reader, somewhere along the trail delight became boredom.

What makes one writer truly rise above the rest? Is it a perfect amalgamation of plot, character, setting, point of view, symbolism, theme, style, voice and story? Is it breaking these rules? Is it perfect grammar or is it colloquialism? Is it soul or is it twisting the truth to achieve effect? Does it all come down to simple readability or must it include durability, lastability (another of my new words to drive the dictionarily dysfunctional to distraction).

Just when I think I’ve found something I lose it, or let it go. I read something amazing. Quick! Bookmark it—until the list is heavy with impressive stuff. Go back and find out why, and huh? It’s okay, it’s good…but gospel? Some will still reach in and grip me, bring me back again and again. These are the ones I meant to link to, write glowing comments to, learn something from. But then, when they’re that good, I feel inadequate and ashamed to tag around as if I were a puppy.

I think Spinning will make or break me. I’ve finally allowed the urge to rise to fever pitch and it insists on being cared for, demands it with a vengeance, threatening to die if I desert it one more time. It knows I am still floundering, following, faking. It is the one indulgence I must give myself and see it through to a decision, because I abhor a half-ass job. It needs too much of my time and my attention; too much time away from other things that may not provide the pleasure but could, if allowed, offer satisfaction and meaning on a different plane. I feel my world ready either for expansion or acceptance, and the time has come to choose between the two.

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LITERATURE: Watchmen

Finished Chapter IX last night, and find I am still mystified by what will happen, and interested in finding out. That’s a good sign. In my lifetime I’ve probably only let a half dozen books remain unfinished, being polite enough to see them all the way through to bitter end rather than insult the author. The only one left midway that I feel really badly about is War and Peace. And that was only because I got tired of trying to remember every character’s preferred name and several aliases, in Russian no less.

There is enough about Watchmen that intrigues me, but I still won’t know until the end what point will be the central focus of a paper. I think I’ll wait and go by my gut feeling; it’s usually the most honest and immediate when the last page is read.

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STORIES: Mine

Really, really need to get back into my fiction stories. Need to heavily revise A Seasonal Life, follow up on Few, one that I have started here that I forgot the name of, and another started here that is only a paragraph.

But, I am writing, and with any luck, it’s improving as I go. Still looking for my lost voice, and I hope that turns up soon. Almost feel like I prefer this type of writing–simple viewpoint or short article format about a variety of topics. I think that’s why I enjoyed the Bowmen’s Bulletin mag I put out; there was a freedom to expound on whatever I felt like, and in whatever mood I was in. I did an editorial, short story, info articles, humorous pieces, etc. for each issue along with whatever we could strong-arm other folks into submitting. The readers loved it, and I hope that this much smaller audience likes this weblog as well. I’ve honestly tried to cut down on the items that have no relative value to anyone but me. Insight, viewpoint, presentation, and all the necessary elements of writing are, with any luck, finding their way into each post in some manner that is a practice exercise for me as well as a desire to entertain. And, the best part of all, in a weblog you really don’t have to do serious revision, just some quick editing. Lazy Susan says, “Yes!”

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WRITING: Perception

Our self-image is often so very different than as others may perceive us. This morning’s shower revealed much more to me than the usual shock of middle-agedness. I am an addict and so am marked. My arms reveal tracks of Nicoderm patch residue built up over the past several days and that I hadn’t noticed (not unusual when one is in the bifocular stage of life). It took severe scrubbing to eliminate most of the telling lines, and I think I’m glad it’s autumn and wear long sleeves.

Though you may notice that I often mention showering, it is because it is often one of the most fruitful times of thought and reflection. I waste no time as downtime. At least two things are always going on simultaneously. It is my plan to best use the time I’m given, so in the end, I’ve led a double life.

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Reality?: It’s In The Cards

Early morning playing of Solitaire indicates that today will not be a good day. I used to apply this barometer to the stock market, and must defend its ability to predict at least as well as the Wall Street jocks.

Applying it to daily life is proving a 75% accuracy rate. No, I’m not breaking one of my Catholic-taught precepts of the Church: “Thou shalt not believe in dreams or fortune telling” (like it matters now anyway). The accuracy factor arises out of HOW the game is played. Even though I never put much thought into playing and it is done automatically while I focus on either a story line or a single current event, when my mind is cluttered or worried there is a tendency to override even this underlying awareness of the game, and thus I am not playing well. I will miss needed cards, not see a move, etc. This is how the rest of my day will go as well; unfocused, scattered, non-productive.

So, while five a.m. Solitaire is a good indicator, it is just a symptom rather than a cause. I can see it as the need to realign my priorities for the day, go through the list and concentrate on some items and put others off for another day. This gives me back some measure of control over those things which can be controlled at all.

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PEOPLE: Family

My sister just got back from visiting my niece in Seattle. She brought me back a huge ripe red pomegranate. We were at my dad’s yesterday when she handed it to me, and he said, “You always loved those.” But there was a touch of sadness in his voice, because he wasn’t the one who gave it to me.

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LITERATURE: Watchmen

I realized this morning that I have even more in common with Dr. Manhattan. I am in a state of conflicting (or concurrent) time. My watch says today is the 10th. It could be the past, or it could be the future. Is it ahead or behind? Am I?

There is, of course a logical reason for this contradiction with the calendar. Months (if in fact they were months) ago the watch battery died. I didn’t replace it for a couple weeks. When I did I found I had to hand wind it to move the date (were the days flying by as I wound?). This was too much trouble and time-consuming (did I eat up some of time?) so I left it where I stopped.

Where in time am I? If I were in Seattle a few hours ago I would be less distant from the present for three hours than I am here on the East Coast. I remember talking to Jess out in Seattle once and telling her not to worry because nothing happens in the next three hours.

The element of time in the Watchmen, how it is present(ed), past and future, and the characters’ as well as the readers’ concept of it turn it into not quite as dependable in structure anymore.

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People: Passive/Aggressive

I do not like people who cause me to change too quickly into evil Susan. I like to slide into the transition at my own pace and at my own discretion. However, after decades of being “too nice” one finds that to get anything accomplished these days takes a more dominant, aggressive attitude.

I went to pick up the broken brand new leaf blower to take to my father who lives forty-five miles away. It was to be ready by Friday, so I didn’t bother to call and check before I stopped in. Two teenagers were left in charge of the store on a Sunday morning, and they (both) at least asked me what I wanted before ensuring that every man in the store–including those who came in after me–was helped, rung up and on their way. I posed a problem for them. Because it’s a small town and the owner felt badly about selling me a defective $550 leaf blower he hadn’t even written a repair slip–but both kids knew about the blower anyway. They just wouldn’t give it to me. I asked them to check to see if it was around anywhere, and they looked, came back, and said no; there was just a new one there, and they couldn’t give me that. I asked them to call the owner because I was not about to go to my Dad’s and tell him that I didn’t have the blower. This would have been tantamount to telling a 5-year old on Christmas morning that Santa hadn’t shown up. Nor would I return home, ten miles back and wait for the owner to call me back since I knew the blower hadn’t left their premises. They called, he wasn’t home. I asked them to page him. They did. He called back and within a minute my blower was wheeled out to me, fixed and working. I apologized for being a bitch (my version, which is in truth a helluva lot nicer than some other people’s pleasant side).

I don’t like having to bully people into good service. I myself own a small business. I have delivered finished framed pieces to people’s homes as well as their hospital bed when such an emergency made it necessary. I have wiped my tears over severe personal distress at the sign of the store door opening and greeted customers with a bright cheery smile, and been able to let the air out of it to return to grieving as soon as they were out the door. I once brought a customer into my house, a strong burly man, who was coming to pick up something for his wife. When I told him I hadn’t finished it yet, he suddenly broke down and cried. I brought him into my house where over coffee he told me his wife was dying.

I get upset over Walmart and the like steamrolling over small business owners, but for goodness’ sake, they deserve it if they cannot offer the one thing that Walmart cannot: Personal, caring, professional service.

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PEOPLE: And Their God

One of the neat things about believing in a God is that you have someone to scream at when things aren’t going well. And the drama; nothing can beat the effect of throwing your head back and looking to the sky as you rail against the unfair business practices of life. Try doing this and shouting, “Bush!” It doesn’t have the same effect. One must also squelch the nagging little doubt one has that God indeed would choose to live on undependable clouds and with blue walls for all eternity when just look at some of the 5,000 sq. ft. houses even common executives live in these days. But hey, it works for me.

I’m going to stop by and visit with C. today as well. I need to bring her some jeans of mine that might now fit her, and a sterling silver bracelet that is hers in a set of a matching three engraved with “Friends Forever.”

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REALITY?: Turning Sunday Into Monday

I have an awful lot to do today. I think I am going to visit my father today instead of tomorrow because the leaf blower has been fixed and I’m sure he’s just jumping up and down with anxious joy at the thought of firing that sucker up. Me, I hate noise. His penchant for starting up all the motors and equipment in his garage has already caused the need for me to replace two batteries, get him a battery charger (a simpler one this time) and scares the living s… out of me every time I’m there because he has to show me how they “start right up,” and eventually don’t because they’re drained. It’s a vicious cycle (how appropriate!). I also strongly suspect that it is not merely age that has hastened his hearing loss. He has been after me to find someone to fix his 30-year old chainsaw. My sister and I agree that we will most definitely NOT attempt to get this fixed. We worry enough about him playing with all his other toys.

The good news? Monday will be free! I can catch up on everything I’ve let pile up and cross things off my daily how-to-live-today list.

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PEOPLE: M & M’s

M & M’s have been coming up quite a bit in my life lately. I’m not sure why, and if there’s a purpose to it, I don’t have time to philosophically figure it out. Anyway, this bit of trivia is not just a boredom-filler post; honest to God, it’s important to me. On one of the leftover from Halloween M & M baggies there’s “Billy’s Science Facts” and the first one I noticed and read was that 85% of the population can curl their tongue into a U. This ability is caused by a dominant gene if you can do it, recessive if you can’t. Why this struck me is that starting with my older sister way back when, and continuing throughout my life whenever the opportunity arose, I have been teased about not being able to curl my tongue. While not a major factor in warping my psyche, it has made me feel inadequate upon occasion. Now I find out that I’m in the elite 15% of the population who cannot curl their tongue. Can’t tell you what a boost to my self esteem this is. Further research on more scientifically oriented websites disputes the 85/15% estimate, but who would you believe? The relatively new internet system or a candy that’s been around for over half a century?

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