I printed out a hard copy of “A Seasonal Life” (Really have to come up with a better title—it’s starting to bug me) and think I have discovered my problem with the ending. I know the story sounded a bit too poetic in certain phrasing, and decided it may be prose, so I went to confirm my thoughts. Hot damn! Where is my old Intro to Lit book? Had to look this up on the internet. From the Columbia Encyclopedia:
brief prose fiction. The term covers a wide variety of narratives—from stories in which the main focus is on the course of events to studies of character, from the “short short” story to extended and complex narratives such as Thomas Mann’s Death in Venice. Most often the short story is restricted in character and situation and is concerned with creating a single, dynamic effect. Its length usually falls between 2,000 and 10,000 words. (The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition. 2001.http://www.bartleby.com/65/sh/shortsto.html)
While I knew that I would be cutting out some of these phrases in editing (when the enchantment with the words wore off), I didn’t realize that it was severely limiting the conclusion. While it may be perfectly acceptable for the narrator to think in this style (I do, when I’m in a certain mood), it was the reason why dialogue is limited—normal conversation just doesn’t go this way. If my conclusion to the story is based upon a critical family confrontation, then it’s just not going to fit in—no way. Perhaps it’s best to start editing now, and that will either 1) flow naturally into my goal, or 2) maintain what is established and focus on action–how, not what is said, and the narrator’s perception of it, or 3)change the conclusion dramatically.
Note to Mr. E: Am I on the right track?
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology