By Barbara Jacksha, written first person pov, hits the ground running with the immediate situation, filling in a few details as the story moves along in linear timeline.
Jacksha gives us the perfect triangle of conflict, a man, his wife, and his father-in-law forming a physical triangle in the cutting and taking down of a large tree. Excellent concept here; the image emphasizing the underlying theme.
She also starts the narrative at a precipitous point: "Moments before the dead oak fell, we formed an equilateral triangle." There’s the promise of action in that opening line. The next few sentences introduce the characters, the narrator’s new wife, Sherri and her father Buck, both of whom are obviously comfortable in this setting as opposed to the ‘city boy’ narrator. He, however, is aware of the geometry and the planned fall of the tree. Complications arise with the indication that the ice on the lake, on which he and Buck are standing, and in which direction the tree is proposed to fall, is not completely rock solid in the late spring weather.
In the ensuing action of the tree falling, there is a curious detail: Buck loses his grip on the rope–this, though the rope shouldn’t be tightening but rather needing drawing-in, as the tree falls. Whether this is a plan on Buck’s part, or Sherri’s in how she made the cut with her chainsaw, is a question. Then again, it could be accidental.
The narrator feels the balance has shifted as well: "Then I realized that the equilateral image was gone: the triangle we now formed was undeniably acute." His wife first runs to check on her father and when assured that he is all right, only then looks up toward her husband. He cannot quite read her expression, but he sees enough to convince him of where he stands within this group of three.
Very nicely done. Geometry metaphorically given strength in image, though it was not left up to the reader to discover for himself, and this might have been a more perfect and polished presentation of the concept.
The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology