WRITING: Still Editing on A Bottle of Beer

This time I’m adding in–not much, and it’s still a bit heavy, but I just felt the end should be a bit more wrapped up. 

Throughout the linear part of the narrative, the sun is setting, the runner is approaching, and Yolanda’s getting pretty well soused on beer.  The only thing left without conclusion in the last box is the transition as metaphored by the sunset.  Hope I didn’t make it too obvious–as I tend to do–or too dramatic, but I did change the lighting (I can imagine this happening on a stage or in a film clip) via words to make a more complete ending, a more satisfying one I would think.