WRITING: Walking Away – Dis-explaining

An example (one of many) of editing out unnecessary information:

Old version:

“Well it must work.” It was what he had to say because twelve days out of a year
couldn’t overcome the influence of the others. These days he treaded lightly, for
Jenny’s sake. Behind him, the screen door whined open.

New version:

“Well it must work.”  It was what he had to say because he only had twelve days out of a year.  Behind him, the screen door whined open.

We already know that this has been an unfriendly divorce, a messy custody battle.  We’ve felt Jed’s discomfort and resentment, know that he is overcautious.  If I were a really good writer, his answer alone would be enough. 

I’ll work on that.

This entry was posted in WRITING. Bookmark the permalink.