WRITING & REALITY: Images of Place

Okay, it’s obvious that the mood of today is a strange one with glimpses of projection and awe at the possibilities.

Thinking of a place back in time that I visited yesterday–my childhood home.  A bit different, with furniture topsy turvy in rooms where it didn’t belong, and yet the space hadn’t changed all that much.  This morning, thinking of how instead I have changed within that place, coming back and yet not belonging.  Picturing the years, the days, the moments of me within each portion of space and seeing crowded rooms filled with various heights of a single person–not yet considering the other family members nor friends that have spent time there. 

Where in that space have I not been?  Along the walls, I’ve been there painting, cleaning, dusting baseboards and ceilings.  In the kitchen, surely there is very little area that I have not entered into, overlapping in years and ages to fill up nearly all but the topmost two feet.  Is there a square inch of floor I’ve left untouched in all the decades past, pristine and unholding of aura?

And what of the others impressed on this same space as well?

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WRITING: Border Crossing

Getting even more frustrated lately with my writing.  Stories that open themselves to such potential are wrapped gloriously in words but tied in streams of boredom that prohibit entry.  The gift remains unwritten and unseen.

There is a line we come to in a story where we can back up, or boldly cross.  The line may be a wall that’s climbable, or smooth and flat without a foothold. What binds us to reality so firmly that we fear to take up pickaxe?

I feel as if the years were spent in walking the perimeter, exploring and learning the context of the wall.  I’ve paid smugglers to help me across but need something else, something within me that challenges the border that reality has built in my mind. I feel as if at long last I’ve come to a doorway, an easy and intellectual entry to all I know is offered, all I want to do or be, but reach out and try the knob to find it firmly set. 

What fear holds me here, dully standing just one side of dreams.  I touch the concept, feel the frame and see the cracks where light flows through and yet I look behind me for the shove that may just pass me through.  Or even realistically in self-sufficient motive, the tools.

Where, I wonder, is the key?

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WRITING: Pinching Buds

I study the petunias.  Some vibrant pink and others royal purple, but more, the difference in their growth and style.  Bushy or leggy, to pinch or not to pinch in order to encourage growth?

The salvias are more alert and receptive.  Snipping back the main stalk after flowering, down to the telltale spurt of facing sets of new leaf, I am rewarded shortly thereafter with a many-stemmed flowering crown.

When do we know where to cut to enable the branching out of story?  To elicit from a single-minded plot the possibilities that will end in many blooms?

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LITERATURE & NEW MEDIA & STORYTRON: Attitude

In learning new media methods and means via both background technical aspects in order to write to it, and by addressing it as a reader, I am beginning to suspect that not only writer consideration of the diversity of potential user but of attitude as well must be taken into account.

In reading Marquez, as noted, I’m perhaps not getting the full value of even this linear text.  What mental frame of mind is keeping me on the single path of meaning?  Why, with this novel, am I not flying above or below the words, zig-zagging to create something more from the sentences? 

I am reluctant to face mine enemies in Silent Hill 2.  I remember stopping at a breathtaking point where I can see them coming at me.  When I check the date at which I stopped my earnest gameplay, it seems to coincide with a time in reality that threatened. 

In learning the technique of writing story in new media format (and just to clarify process, I refer to the original producer as writer/writing, and the end player as reader/user–even while this as well is a writer/writing position as defined by Barthes) it will not be enough to stretch one’s mind to encompass one’s own questions of direction, but to take in as well the wealth of audience in experience, knowledge, intellect, and mood.

Storytron is one means of opening up that process that will bring characters and drama beyond the realm of writer knowledge.  While still limiting characters to the experience or curiousity of the writer in endowing them with certain characteristics, the actual stepping in of character reaction that decides the drama will offer the likelihood of something akin to mood.  Example: Fred will react to a greeting in a particular manner if he leans in a certain direction when accompanied by his dog.

Looking at the possibilities opens up a whole new venture in writing and reading.  Will Marquez today be Marquez tomorrow?

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LITERATURE: Love in the Time of Cholera – Reading Deeper

I’m having a less than ideal experience with Marquez in this novel in that I am not having those moments of awe and elation that I recall from 100 Years of Solitude.  Just when I am writing it off to it merely being a lesser novel, Steve persists in seeing more in a passage than I can conceive, even in my determined effort to find it.

I want to be surprised, I want that element of layers in reading that grants the pleasure of discovery.  It may be more necessary for me to explore instead the frame of mind of the reader rather than the writer right now, and how it affects reading and story.  Maybe, as much control over story as Barthes hopes to lay in the hands (mind) of the reader, bears a burden not only of desire and experience, but one of mood, or openness and focus as well. 

In other words, is it possible for the reader to experience a particular story in many different ways dependent upon time and circumstance?  Certainly this would be true in poetry. Is this what broadens the possibility of paths that the more elaborate interactivity of new media methods allows by conscious choice rather than mental state alone?

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LITERATURE: Love in the Time of Cholera – Marquez on Sex

Obviously, what Florentino Ariza discovers about women through his liaisons with prostitutes is never applied to ladies such as his beloved Fermina Daza, but this observation is interesting:

It was in those days that he devised his rather simplistic theories concerning the relationship between a woman’s appearance and her aptitude for love.  He distrusted the sensual type, the ones who looked as if they could eat an alligator raw and tended to be the most passive in bed.  The type he preferred was just the opposite:  those skinny little tadpoles that no one bothered to turn around and look at in the street, who seemed to disappear when they took of their clothes, who made you feel sorry for them when their bones cracked at the first impact, and yet who could leave the man who bragged the most about virility ready for the trashcan.  (p. 175)

Marquez portrays his characters as very sexual beings, in both this novel and in 100 Years of Solitude, the men in particular do quite a bit of wandering about, and their women are of different stations, a line drawn between respectably married and paid whore, with a middle ground of sorts where the married ladies may dally and the mistresses gain a certain amount of respectability.

It is an old fashioned standard that is certainly within its time period, and while not the norm by today’s looser beliefs, I cannot help but feel that in the mind of man, some beliefs die hard.  Action is not always telling of prejudice.

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NEW MEDIA & REALITY: Magical Realism

Meant, after last night’s dream, to finish up the main thrust of the prior posting.  To compare the odd abilities for magical transformations occurring within a setting of reality in our dreams. Inspired by a dream and the potential of new media to enhance not by addition of visuals that affirm a story line but rather to conflict with it, similar to the simple saying yes and shaking one’s head indicating no.

That’s where all this was heading, to exploration and possibility and paths delineated by which of the senses the reader/user chooses to trust.  A forced choice when there is conflicting information, and it’s something that happens often enough in the real world (ex., looks like him, but it doesn’t sound at all like him) on a less extravagant basis than in our dreams.  And again, what multimedia could offer in an elaboration of event.

But then I fell asleep for a few more hours.  Another dream, one again based on a different part of my reality and stress.  Little symbolism, but much more drama and agitation.  Obviously what fills my waking thoughts has penetrated into the refuge of rest.  And this interesting project of projection will be abandoned in favor of seeking some other form of relief.

But the concept remains a question.

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NEW MEDIA & REALITY: Similarities

After just two hours of sleep, I wake from dreaming, not a frightening nightmare, but a scenario that bothers me because I know its basis is somewhere in reality.  Enhanced by magical realism, where a three story building becomes so many more floors of space–there are three or four third floors alone. 

I fell to sleep thinking of a story I am working on and woke up to a more interesting and evocative one of the subconscious mind, one I wish I could have written, nd it is strangely telling.  The plot is simple:  I am on campus, note the time and get up from where I’m seated in the courtyard reading, enter the classroom to find that I’ve left my books behind on the table where I sat.  I rush out, knowing at the most I’d be a couple minutes late and miss only that.  But my journey backwards becomes complicated as the buildings change and all the stairways lead to places I have never been before.  Soon, I am hopelessly lost and somewhere have as well lost sight of my original goal–to retrieve my books–and instead, am searching for the classroom where I’ve left my pocketbook to show that I indeed, had been there but had left. 

With only five minutes before the class is due to end, I find my way and enter as the students are being handed back a prior assignment that has been graded.  As the room empties, the professor comes over and asks me where I’ve been.  I answer him that I was here and left and lost my way back.

And then I am awake.

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WRITING: Babbling Brooks and River Rocks

Funny, the story I’d just finished had been started in a class and is about a writing class.  Funny that this current wave of storylines and the words to write them occur now.  The housepainters next door are still playing Dean Martin, Nat King Cole and Sinatra all day long, and since my shop is right there, the music cannot help but fill my space.  Tired of the same old CD’s, and when it’s come to the point of being annoying since it’s not blasting but loud enough for me to sing along, I crank up Willie and Waylon on the shop unit just enough to drown the old timers out. 

But, I cannot write.  Either and both are impediments to the flow of story in my mind.  I cannot ask the neighbor’s workers to turn the music off; house painting is only accompanied by silence when the painters are thinkers.  In the story I’d finished, the protagonist has a problem with the silence in her writing–a twist on my own experience of noise interference (I’d actually asked the professor to keep quiet).  But it’s not just the sound, but the mood–I find I can often write when simultaneously watching tv.  I also seem to need the inspiration and cannot drudge it up whenever I want.  I am mistress to the muses, not the other way around.

But another story is swirling in my head, and I need to get it out.  Unfortunately, when I go to type it up, it doesn’t come out right.  I may give up and do some other work instead.

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WRITING: Getting Published

Please don’t mind if I blow my own horn–I don’t often get the chance. One of my poems, Halloween, has been accepted and is available in the online journal, Bewildering Stories, Issue 203. 

If you get the chance, check out this and the much finer writing in this issue.

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LITERATURE: Love in the Time of Cholera – Philosophy

Marquez slips in some food for thought:

His (Florentino Ariza’s) uncle was angry with him because of the manner in which he had thrown away the good position of telegraph operator in Villa de Leyva, but he allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.  (p. 165)

Now there are several ways perhaps to take this.  In one line of thought, we see man’s potential to change according to life experience and free will.  This is likely Marquez’s meaning.  But then I recall in his 100 Years of Solitude various references along the theory of eternal life of the soul, reincarnation occuring as a repeated span of physical life in which also, the purpose is to learn and grow, or change.

I do wonder to which, if either, he hints.

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NEW MEDIA & STORYTRON: Discoveries

First, on Facade:  Just another little experiment with the program, that of minimalizing interactivity–totally against the purpose of the piece.  Responded to questions from Grace or Trip, but with basic yes or no answers.  At the first sign of the arguments between them, I said I would be leaving.  Heading towards the door, they carried on their conversation, and I found myself unable to actually open their apartment door and leave for a while.  Did manage to get out and into the hall, but again, found it difficult to enter the elevator, thus escaping the scene.  At first, Trip and Grace tried to convince me I was responsible and should help them out, but then my determination overwhelmed their resolve and they suggested I leave.  Interesting, Trip actually followed me out to the hall before going back into his apartment and closing the door.

On Storytron, I find I need to read some more of the bulletin board postings so that some of my questions may be answered as they arise.  For example, last night I tried to put in a new actor, according to my own storyline, and when I went to "save" that scene, found that the program could not be called up again and had to reinstall it.  I am interested in how the system will work in accumulating information, and find no information in the tutorials as yet about this factor.

Playing and learning; learning and playing some more.

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LITERATURE: Reading Downtime

No surprise, I’ve too much on my plate and haven’t been able to zip through any readings and reviews lately.  Once more, just as with food, my huge appetite has forced me to take smaller bites of each genre in order to insure digestion. 

Much of what I’m currently reading is doing double-duty as a learning and thinking process, and while enjoyable, is time-consuming.  At this point, the biggest piece of fluff in the lot is likely Marquez–so you know where I’m at. 

Life too is not as simple and easily moved through these days, but at least it’s taken with more confident strides and a flicker of a smile.

I’ll be back in full force and speed soon.  And smarter too, I hope.

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STORYTRON & WRITING: Character & Resolution

Though I’m not quite ready–and neither is the SWAT program–I’m going to follow a suggestion made and enter the characters and storyline into SWAT and use them as the learning base.  It may provide a more intimate and focused grounding in which to work.

By using characters of my own making, and with a general plot it mind, it will eliminate some of the random decisions that would likely be made in deciding traits of the characters provided which I have no connection or feeling for (Atilla?).  Being even that more precise in making my way through such a wide and complicated structure as the program offers will no doubt be more telling in the final result.

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REALITY?: Rhythm

Thinking today of my nephew and his upcoming wedding next month.  Unfortunately, I won’t be able to see him marry his most lovely lady because of the situation hanging over my head with his mother. But I remember dancing with John way back at our wedding.  He was just thirteen and I taught him dirty dancing.  Remember, my new husband was gone before the meal was done but not before we had one dance together.  Then he took off to the dentist to have a broken tooth taken care of and came back just before the reception wound down to a full finish.  John was open to making sure this bride didn’t leave the dance floor and we had a ball.

I’d have loved to been able to go to his wedding, but in a phone call, he told me he understood.  I’d love to have had that one more time to dance with him.

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