REALITY?: Appreciating Nature

What do you do when you rise up at three a.m. and then by six you’re done with all your morning chores but notice the bottom shelf of the refrigerator’s stuffed with yellow squash?  You make three chocolate squash breads and shred up all the rest to freeze for when the plants are finally killed by frost.

The squash grow quickly when your back is turned, and morning’s harvest so carefully and thoroughly complete will still produce another crop by nightfall. 

So chocolate bread for morning, lunch and with ice cream in eveningtime is just a hope at keeping current.

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LITERATURE: Next Up – One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

Couldn’t stay away from the pile.

This will likely be a more meditative read, though it is short; it will take longer.  I won’t devour it to the exclusion of all else, and will be able, I hope, to still maintain the others such as S/Z, Ethics, Hypertext 3.0, the game stories and the lit journals.

I’m getting back in the mood for Watchmaker, and should be posting on that again shortly, and I’m anxious to get into either Still Life or Scratches

And yes, keep writing as well.  Still have work to do on four stories and I’ve started another so as to be ready when September submissions open up.  Reading and writing seem to be the only way lately to reduce stress levels and keep my mind off the more bothersome things and people in life.

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LITERATURE: S/Z – Sarrasine

Honore de Balzac’s Sarrasine is quite the story.  A petulant, passionate young sculptor is taken with the beauty of the singer, La Zambinella only to find that she is a he, and he is killed by her/his protectors.  But this story is embedded within another, for it is told by one party guest to another to explain the presence of a very odd old man at the events held by a wealthy and worldly family who seem to protect him and keep him away from their guests.  There is a question as well–in the beginning–of exactly how this family came into their money and status–although status is easily explained by their money alone.

Overly dramatic (I can never understand the crying, moaning, pain of the lovers of this era) and flowery, it is of course, well written and intriguing and carries the reader along in its imagery and mystery.  It was a delight to read, and I did enjoy it, though not making too much more of the story than what it presented, and it’s telling of society and history and the nature of mankind.

It will be interesting now to see what Barthes makes of it.

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LITERATURE: Confrontation No. 86/87 – Style and Reader’s Rights

There is one story in this issue, Losing the Dog’s Paddle by Miah Arnold, that deserves some thought on style.  It is a nine and a half-page sentence.  The story is told in 2nd person pov, but of course, because of the nature of the tale, comes off more like first person.  Meaning, it is a soliloquy of a rambling stream of dialogue that I don’t feel is stream of consciousness as much as likening it to a person who just must tell you what’s happened to them and no amount of polite nods or gestures will get them to shut up.  The start-up:

At twenty-three years old, the way things turned out, you had to buy a Greyhound ticket to make the cross-country trip from New York City to Roosevelt, Utah, where you hoped to arrive in time to say your final good-byes to your maternal grandfather, seventy-six years old, who raised you with more gentleness and wisdom than he did his own kids, who always called you "the smartest cookie on the family shrub," who never doubted you would become a world-famous artist, or business woman…(p. 177)

And so it continues, non-stop, through the trip where "you" smoke some dope, think you’ve been fucked on the bus-ride by a young man, get off at the next stop and flag down a trucker who seems like a nice, older man and buys you a meal, warns you and leaves you fifty bucks. 

But the style; it’s not how someone would think, but rather how someone would give you a hyped-up version of their adventure.  The problem here, for me, was that I felt like my readerly rights were being abused.  There was no reason other than this presentation of a breathless retelling to leave out the periods and paragraphs.  While it obviously serves this purpose, I did what I would do if this person were telling me all this face to face–nine pages’ worth; I tuned out. 

In reading, while the format tells us when a breath or a break is to be taken (God bless the comma!) there is still the reader’s own option given as to when a glance away, a phone can be answered, or the book closed and dinner eaten in between.  This story was difficult to continue reading, even with the adventure, because for one thing, the third person is a tough story to foist on a reader; he must accept it even more so than first person, even though either can be taken as self or listener.  (I always choose "listener" stance.)

The story was different, it was a bold effort in format, but for me, it didn’t come off.

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LITERATURE: Confrontation No. 86/87 – A Few Goodies

This particular issue is blessed with twenty stories, and a few are really worth remarking:

On Impulse by Bill Lamp is third person pov but is so deep into the character’s head that a day or two after reading it I went back to it and was surprised to find it wasn’t first person.  This is the story of a rock climber who goes through his emotional and egotistical feelings towards the other members of the group during a few climbs, and is highly insightful into human nature.  The conflicts are obviously triggered by the danger, but also by the competitiveness of thte sport.  Even more, the natural desire to be thought well of and liked by your peers.  Very nice.

The Melted Buddha by Vincent G. Barnes takes a simple event and makes it stressful and imaginative reading.  The protagonist (third person pov) notices that a statue of Buddha on his TV shelf has melted.  He received it from a couple who he met on a trip to Bangkok, and the couple is coming to visit within a few days.  He makes every effort to replace it before they come, and comes to a reasonable facsimile of it by remolding it and sticking it in the freezer.  But it keeps melting back down–and here’s the fine point in the story:  is it affected by how he lives his life, what he watches on TV?  Is he offending Buddha?  The ending of the story is just as magical–according to the reader’s imagination.

Sitcom Mom by Chris Haven is wonderfully well-written in the third person pov of a young girl’s fantasies.  As we follow her through her worlds, she exists equally in both, intertwining reality with fiction so that we accept it as readily as does she.  As a student who isn’t especially well-liked by the others, we easily follow her as child movie star through hallways that may lead to her dressing room or classroom, depending on her mind.  We can relate to this child-world of imagination; we’ve all done it without taking it this far.  Lovely story, nice resolution. 

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REALITY?: Non-linear Morning

Cool September morning in the first third of August.  Doe hesitant about crossing the yard while I sit.  Back a few steps turnaround back and forth several more times, facing me, she asks What’s going on?

From some place in June, I shrug, and she goes back the way that she came.

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LITERATURE, WRITING: & WLLIE

Dang good thing I saw the Willie special on tv now once before.  Reading, writing, and preparing for another danged legal meetin’ tomorrow.

Read Sarrasine by Honore de Balzac today and will have a separate posting on it in conjunction with Barthes’ S/Z, but it brought something around to me; I like the diversity of style and era in mixing the readings of a century.  While I’m interested now in writing short story in various mediums, therefore I suppose, contemporary writing is of great importance, I learn from the old as much or more as from the new.  All new is based on old, and even as I watch Willie, I see from where he came, and how he changes with the time.  He explores, pushes the limits and goes beyond and tries new things.  But there he is, driving around Abbot, Texas where he was born.

Circles are constant and never deadended.  Circles are spirals when circles are let free to fly.

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LITERATURE: S/Z – Manner of Reading

Got through the first part of this essay by Roland Barthes, losing my way many times; but then, that’s what Barthes is saying, no?  It is reading in my own manner, my own (in)experience that brings out the meaning. 

But I certainly am willing to take his offer:

We must further accept one last freedom:  that of reading the text as if it had already been read.  Those who like a good story may certainly turn to the end of the book and read the tutor text first; it is given as an appendix in its purity and continuity, as it came from the printer, in short, as we habitually read it.  (ix. How many readings? p. 15)

And so I turn to Honore de Balzac’s short story, Sarrasine, which is what Barthes will be examining in S/Z.  It is, sizewise alone, much easier reading than what Barthes will guide me through, and I’ve already found it to be enjoyable.  Yes, I feel like an unadventurous clod by not jumping off the ledge hand in hand with Roland, but for me, the old teaches the new; the new, the old.

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LITERATURE: Confrontation – No. 86/87

This issue is actually Spring/Summer 2004, but I was too embarrassed to put that fact in the post title.  I know that I’d started this way back then–there are a couple of bookmarking slips of paper within the pages, which always gets my hopes up that I only have half left to go.  But I started from the beginning on this, and none of the stories sounded familiary–except for the story itself.  Just about halfway through now, this issue having an extraordinary number of stories, nineteen in fact.

I’m surprised by the number of relationship stories, several already being about the guy who’s just been dumped or can’t commit to a woman.  A rather odd one about leprosy, and a few goodies in the group so far, but overall, they have me rethinking short story fiction.  Several of them have some serious tell instead of show issues, basically of the "where the relationship went wrong" type.  A majority of them are "feeling" stories; reflections on self and others.  One is a first person pov from a rather egotistical rock-climber, and is particularly well written because it is such a great case from the unreliable narrator that I would use it as an obvious example if teaching fiction writing.  Very well done.  But a few of the stories are high-school boy-girl type subject matter, despite good writing, and it makes me wonder how they were selected for this rather elite magazine.

Because of the age of this issue, I won’t be going into detailed reviews on the stories unless there’s something really new or different to report.

And by the way, this article on a man reading 30 books currently makes me feel a whole lot better about the six or so books and projects I have going on, and had been feeling so guilty about not getting through them quickly enough.  Guess it doesn’t matter after all.  Thanks to Scott Esposito at Conversational Reading for the link.

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REALITY?: Strategy

Well, after sixteen years I think I have this "another pin-hole leak in the pipes–shut the water off–call the plumber" thing down to a science.  Though sometimes I can tape or clamp the hole to last, this one’s not working out.

Several jugs and pans are placed under each faucet and the faucets are "cracked" open.  The morning and last night’s ice cream dishes–already soaped–and a sponge are in a basin in the shower, along with my toothbrush and a cup.  Naked, I go down into the cellar and turn the water back on, sprint up the stairs, lose my shoes and hop in the shower.  I do the dishes and drain the basin, put the dishes back in, rinsed and shove them out of the way while I shampoo, shave and shower fast and brush my teeth.  Air-dry as I run through the house and shut the faucets off and flush the toilet.  Make it down the cellar quickly and shut down the water line again.

Then clean, with fresh coffee and no dirty dishes, I wait for the plumber.

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REALITY?: August Politics

Gearing myself up for the big vote tomorrow.  Rolling each man around in my mind and trying not to make a big deal of the dirty campaigning.  The record, the platform, the bullshit aside;  who are they really inside?

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WRITING: Phases & Stages

While the novels I’ve been reading lately have somehow inspired rather than intimidated writing on my part–and that’s a good thing–it appears that even yesterday’s short story reading has infused me with a so what? attitude.

Meaning, after each of these stories, I didn’t feel that I’d gained so much as a person from the content, or even in entertainment value, that made me feel the time was spent in its best opportunity.   Then I went to work on one of my stories and in the editing a feeling overwhelmed me that said the same thing:  so what?

So what if the guy dies and has made some peace with it? So what if I work on it until it’s the best I can do?  So what if it never gets published?  And the worst: So what if it does?

From that point I followed the trail to all that I’m trying to learn:  IF, Flash, Illustrator, how to get through a graphics story without getting killed; how important is all this anyway?

In seeking opportunities to get back into the paid labor market, my experience and knowledge isn’t even reaching the point where I can reveal it.  My resume, compared to the hundreds I’m up against is dated and uncredentialed.  I’m just not getting the calls that would at least give me a chance to talk myself up, to prove that I’m still a viable and valuable worker.

The thread naturally meanders from there back to home and hearth.  Yeah, I make the best stuffed shrimp and a mean chocolate cake, but…so what?

What I’ve gotten the most out of recently, what comes back to me again and again, is philosophy, and especially Boethius’ Consolation.  Maybe, whether there is an extension of spiritual life or not, this path has the most bang for the buck; preparing me for any possible hereafter but more importantly affecting my own way of life in the present form, and in how I deal with other people within this dimension of time.

But what, beyond any knowledge and understanding I gain to improve myself in the time that I’m given, have I done to leave a good change in the people and places I’ve touched?  A story that becomes a classic is highly unlikely; magazines I’ve started have pretty much gone their own way; I’ve no progeny to sob mother! at graveside; my lily bulbs have been eaten by voles.  What then, to mark my passing that has made the world better for me having taken up space?  Perhaps I should pin my life upon the sour cherry tree, now that after sixteen years it has decided to grow and produce.

Don’t know the answers.   But I’m coming up with the questions at least. 

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LITERATURE: Prairie Schooner – Summer 2006 Finale

Good reading, but nothing very unusual.  One thing that is unusual is that four out of the six stories are written in first person pov, something that many readers simply do not like.  I don’t mind them and enjoy the level of intimacy it allows, as long as I can relate in some way to the character and am not uncomfortable with it.  There is also a manner of reading first person where the reader can separate himself from the narrator and take it as a conversation, thus hearing the "I" as (listening to) the teller.  It did seem to me, however, that some of the stories were filled with meaningless details and even with the story being told by a close friend I might find my mind drifting away.

Chronotope by Janet Burroway is an excerpt from a novel, Indian Dancer.  This story is of an older woman whose husband is dying, and it follows her through her thoughts and interaction with her stepdaughter and the nurse who comes to help with the process.  Moving and insightful.

Woodbine & Asters by JoeAnn Hart is a nice story about a young girl (first person pov) who is visiting her grandmother–not your garden variety grandmother, but one who lived in a hippie commune and who has retained much of the strong bond to the earth.  She in fact is trying to stop the state from turning a road in front of her house into a highway.  The conflict of the grandmother versus the state is overshadowed by the grandaughter’s resentment of a girl two years older than her who lives with the woman and shares a stronger bond.  Nice story, nice resolution.

The Theory of Light and Matter by Andrew Porter is another first person pov, the narrator being a young married woman who reflects on a non-sexual but close relationship she had with a professor where she was a college student.  Rather cliche, and the resolution seems little more than the statement that the man had fulfilled a part of her that her husband doesn’t, despite her relative happiness with her marriage.  The only surprise here is that the story was written by a man.  I know any number of women, including myself, who could have written this story.

The balance of the poetry did not usher up a "wow" piece for me to review, though many did appeal in some way.

The good news:  One more book shifts piles.

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LITERATURE: Prairie Schooner – Summer 2006

Well, that didn’t work.

The plan was to catch up on some of my backlog of lit journals since a) I tend to read all the short stories–there’s usually six of ’em max, and b) the novels I’ve been reading have claimed my attention to the point of being really detrimental to my more serious reading such as Barthes, philosophy, the learning texts of Hypertext 3.0 and software how-tos, and the learning/fun play of the interactive game stories.  Unfortunately, I’ve spent the day reading this issue alone.

The True History by Brent Spencer starts off well with a volunteer group of Texians looking for the war.  First person pov puts the protagonist in the midst of men who aren’t’ really committed to the cause, are undisciplined, and the inevitable happens when they hunger for food, promised gold, and are horny to boot.  Well written, but rather predictable.

Bess Helen’s Dog by Paul Lisicky is an excerpt from a novel, and I really would like to know how the rest of the book is written.  This is first person pov, the narrator being, I believe, a dead pet dog.  It’s a bit surrealistic as it ties in with a human dream, and it is written much better than the usual doggie pov, and it holds promise of an interesting story.

An Amateur’s Story by Carol Bly gives us a small town with some interesting characters, and focuses on one in particular, a doctor who nobody really likes because he seems rather cool.  We see him however in a much different way as he tries the only way he hasn’t already in saving a battered wife, that of insisting that she join the church choir which he feels will give her some self-confidence and at the least, get her out of her house for a while.  Well written and good depth of character.

The last three stories will be briefly reviewed in a bit–as soon as I finish the last one.  The poetry I have scanned through, reading each without being tempted to get involved, were not enough to get me excited about anything.  But this caveat:  I’m not particularly moved by anything but truly awesome poetry, and that means either in form, use of language, great imagery, wonderful metaphor, or relativity.

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LITERATURE: Beloved – Finale

Despite my argument with the four chapters we spend in the heads of Sethe, Denver and Beloved, I greatly admire Morrison’s writing and am pleased to say that it rises above even the subject matter in its presentation.  By that I mean that anyone writing about slavery (the Holocaust, the slaughter of the American Indian, Iraq, Vlad of Transylvania, etc.) to include the amount and detail of inhuman acts committed against a people is bound to produce a dramatic and gripping read, but Morrison’s mastery of language and insight into character and a people as a whole takes precedence to a writer/reader.

There are several things I’ve come away with from this novel.  I love the easy transitioning of time into each of the character’s pasts, and with the exception of perhaps the dumping at the end of Stamp Paid’s and the balance of Paul D’s stories, it was wonderfully well done; I imagined throughout the bulk of the novel a DNA strand, or a 6-string necklace of pearls and a spider hopping around from globe to globe of information.  Putting Stamp Paid’s and Paul D’s so far to the end of the book was rather anti-climactic for me, as it seemed the story had reached climax with Sethe near off her rocker and Beloved gone in a confrontation with the town, Denver straightened out and mature, and this backstory was just the smoked cigarette.

The other thing that bothered me–as well it should as an individual–was the characters clumping all whitepeople into the category of bad.  And this takes several directions:  One, I felt that there had indeed been plenty of white folk helping the blacks, and two, I guess it appeared to be racist in its generalization of a people, and therefore, as stereotypical as would be the reverse.  And third, I suppose, and this likely has me thinking the hardest as the first two concerns are really quite justifiable, is the way things like this put me immediately on the defensive.  I didn’t keep slaves, nor did any of my family before me (nor did I kill Indians or turn in any Jews), and I certainly would never do so, and I’m tired of being held responsible.  However, that brings up a whole psychological issue that forces us to face ourselves and not necessarily come up with good answers.

Had I lived in the deep South at that period of time, would I still feel as strongly as I do against slavery?  It’s relatively easy to be shocked at the past when we’re safely ensconced in a much more knowledgeable and socially diverse environment, but who would we be back in that other place?  Would those who felt black people were sub-human and treated them so cruelly still be that evil-acting if they had the experience of history and human rights that we have today?  But then again, we see American soldiers torturing Iraqi prisoners.

What bothers me more than the ignorant slave sellers and keepers, are those who noticed that yes, the blacks were certainly different in culture and civilization in Africa hadn’t quite come up to where Europe and the Americas had progressed, but once it was obvious that they could and wanted to learn, could read and write and thus were on an equal standing with their white brothers, evilly withheld this from them.  And many still tried to keep a people down a century later.

So Morrison has made me very aware of the historical theme and social consciousness in her writing as well as having great narrative structure, poetic language, and a great story in Beloved.  I believe it will remain one of my favorite books.

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