LITERATURE: Planning & Knowing

The big idea was to read the last few pages of 100 Years of Solitude last night, but I was so intrigued by Survivor and then CSI (although I really do wish they’d learn to flick on light switches–yes, I realize that a good flashlight illuminates to focus on detail, but c’mon–and after a dinner of beef stew and sourdough bread, I fell asleep on the couch.  When I awoke at midnight, I worked on the cover of otto no. 2 to get it printed and went to bed at four to wake with a shriek and a pounding headache at nine.

But between framing today, I intend to finish reading, although I find as with McCarthy, I am reluctant to let go of Marquez, and again see the book-o-meter progress reported by the bookmark within the last three-sixteenths of an inch of the end.  Such visuals are not available in flash fiction, although the slider on the side of the screen can indicate progress in a purely online text reading.

What’s next?  Well, I’m allowed to put some effort into my own project now, as well as attempt to go back to my five-at-a-time readings.  A lighter novel, one of the lit journals, Didascalicon (!), and Silent Hill should be up for review. 

I shall absolutely bury myself in literary effort until I feel I can safely stick my head out and see reality once more.

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LITERATURE: 100 Years – Purpose

A writer talks to a reader, tells him a story that cannot help but include a part of himself, a way of thinking that he cannot completely escape from, even in fiction. 

"Aureliano continued getting together in the afternoon with the four arguers, whose names were Alvaro, German, Alfonso, and Gabriel, the first and last friends that he ever had in his life.  For a man like him, holed up in written reality, those stormy sessions that began in the bookstore and ended at dawn in the brothels were a revelation.  It had never occurred to him until then to think that literature was the best plaything that had ever been invented to make fun of people…"  (p. four hundred sixteen)

In revealing a character, Marquez reveals his own view of human nature, instills in each the touch of this or that which makes us all unique, and at the same time, the same.  We all lust, but some get a tablespoon more of this element than others.  We all have fear, measured out and weighed against our strength and audacity.  Is this what Aureliano has learned locked in Melquiade’s room since shortly after the loss of Jose Arcadio Segundo?  Or are we learning something that Marquez himself is willing to share with us from his own experience as a writer.  What else about Aureliano–this latest son of Meme as well as all the Aurelianos before him, the Jose Arcadios as well–is pure Gabriel Garcia Marquez?

Much, I’m sure.  But the skill is in that with only forty pages to the end of 100 Years of Solitude, I am only questioning that now.

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REALITY: As Literary Effort

The day starts out strangely.  Wakened by a kiss just like the old days when he’d leave for work.  Still dim light, I’ve only had a couple hours of sleep.  The neighbor needs some help, I dress and we go there together since he doesn’t know the alarm system to quickly shut it off before the cops and firemen come. 

Her knee went out, she needs some help getting up and if we can get the walker from the attic.  Poor woman, she’s been sitting there since four a.m. waiting for a decent hour to call for help.  I tell her she should have called immediately; I was just then getting into bed.

Just now in the shop, a call from the First Selectman–that’s the mayor in our small town.  He says he’s sent an old strange man a-knocking at my door.  I ask him why, but it’s okay; as long as the man is old.

Forty-five years he’s lived in Burlington, fify-five years married.  He brings out pictures and the prize certificate for framing from the Fire Department raffle.  He explains each photo, taken many years ago, points proudly to his wife, one-half of the couple dressed for roller skater dancing, and with medals on ribbons around their necks.  She died in January.  He tells me of his life, their son, forty-nine, confined forever to a wheelchair.  How he lays his son’s hand upon the mouse so he could sit there fifteen hours a day and see the world outside his chair.  His wife "woke up dead" that morning.  He needs to talk, I sense that.  I see the look of disbelief inside his eyes.  It makes it more real each time you tell the tale.  He leaves an hour later.  I watch him walk away, reaching into his back pocket for his handkerchief just as I reach into the box of tissues on my workbench.

What is Gabriel Garcia Marquez telling me?  What is the meaning in today?

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REALITY: Marriage

Today is my husband’s birthday.  He is exactly eleven months, two weeks, and four hours younger than me.  He looks a lot younger than that; stress has taken its toll on my small frame.  (He is also almost twice my weight and a foot taller.)

We’ve already decided on no birthday gifts this year, and Christmas may be out as well for the two of us, but I’m planning to bake an apple pie and round up something special for dinner.  He, like I, enjoys good food, and while I watch his diet fairly carefully (he’s maybe only slightly overweight for his height–despite what the damn Nutrition course said), now and then we splurge on butter and salt to enhance the pleasure (you can take that as a metaphor, or not).

We’ve been through good times and some tough ones, and though we married late in life, we were each the first–at least marital–partners for each other.  One of the nicest things about all this is that while we want to be together, we don’t need to be (although in truth I believe that he’d have to learn to wash dishes or find someone if he didn’t have me). 

Enough.  I think I’ll go wake him up with a backscratch.  That’ll mean more to him than any goddamned tie.

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WRITING: A Different Way

Getting hyper about a writing project that I’ve reincarnated to relieve and refocus the stress into a productive mode.  One thing I’ve learned about stress and the possible resulting depression is that it can leave you feeling lost and helpless and forgetting that you’re a fully capable person in all the other areas of your life.  Huddled in a self-wound ball, you bounce around and barely touch the surface of the base of floor you once lovingly kept polished.  That’s just a creative metaphor for being grounded, and it pleases me no end that no matter how hokey or cliche it sounds, I can imagine and write it out creatively instead of despondently calling it dirt.

So with the falling leaves and autumn rains I plant the bulbs that plump themselves and slowly grow to stick their heads out raising blossoms to the sky.  That’s just another silly metaphor for digging in and nurturing the planted seed of idea.  (Though I must admit that this post is a complication of my two natures; normally I’m either telling it straight or penning notes and clefs and bars that need be played by cello, violin and trumpet to hear the opus in all its symphonic melody.

So said, I have reinstated Pseudohyperfiction as a playground for a multimedia project that will include text, and eventually audio and visuals enhancing that all important structure–story.  Visit if you like, help is welcome, praise is encouraged, criticism is taken grudgingly but seriously considered.

Meanwhile, I must admit that while McCarthy, Atwood, Marquez (and the many others to be shortly explored), courses in creative writing, literature and new media, maintaining weblogs, corresponding, talking, watching people, and yes–even the experience of computer classroom setup in Statistics–are all being seen for the valuable input of knowledge that can be drawn upon for this, as for any project in daily living.

Somehow I suddenly remember how to draw a deep breath.

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WRITING: Structural Planning

Well I’m finally into it again, turning my back on the reality that I can’t manage to control anyway.  And in this story project, I truly mean that it must be controlled.  Back to Powerpoint planning, back to forking paths and time sequencing.  Back to mapping and structure and while I still may not know where I’m heading, at least I’ll know where I’ve already been and need to return.  Thank God, and Steve, John and Bill for the all too brief taste of New Media last year.

Something I’ve learned from 100 Years of Solitude that will help me in this is Marquez’s elegant management of time.  His foreshadowing–blatantly telling us of someone’s death before he’s even developed their character–is a wonder of narrative skill.  Is he giving something away?  Of course not; a character, just as you and I, will die.  Not always before the end of the novel, but if you believe in the character, then you must accept his eventual fate.  Scarlett O’Hara dies.  Peter Rabbit dies.  They all do–that’s the unwritten realism in fiction.

So I shall learn word weaving, and time travel, and how to use the software I need to make it all work.

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BLOGGING: Can You Hear Me Now?

If you can read this, then maybe Typepad finally fixed my problem.  Haven’t been able to load Spinning or any of the other weblogs of mine since this morning.  I’m paid through October 2006 so I’m only hoping that they didn’t mistakenly shut me off–and horrors!–lose everything I’ve posted for the last two years, in which case I will not only give up on Typepad but on blogging as well.  Why?

On last night’s Antique Road Show a lady brought in a book that I believe was published in 1592–yes, that’s right, 1592.  Four hundred and thirteen years ago.  It was still serviceable.  Not that Spinning is any place near in value to a sixteenth century herbalist’s text, but my 2000 plus entries need to count for something; at the very least, that I’ve been writing a lot in the past two years, and to lose all that effort and history with a flick of a switch will really really really push me over the edge of sanity.

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LITERATURE: 100 Years – Dealing with Death

Gabriel Garcia Marquez must have gotten quite a few bellylaughs from the dissection of his novels over the years, and God in His mercy may he never see mine.

As the Buendia family is whittled down to the last precious few, I have sought meaning, perhaps even confirmation of my own beliefs in life, death, and the Holy Hereafter from what–a novel? But as readers it is our job. 

First, Fernanda, the last "lady of the house":

"So that he (Aureliano) went back to his enclosure, reading and rereading the parchments and listening until very late at night to Fernanda sobbing in her bedroom.  One morning he went to light the fire as usual and on the extinguished ashes he found the food that he had left for her the day before.  Then he looked into her bedroom and saw her lying on the bed covered with the ermine cape, more beautiful than ever and with her skin turned into an ivory casing.  Four months later, when Jose Arcadio arrived, he found her intact."  (p. three-ninety two)

So Fernanda, having found life–although still not willing to reach out to the living around her–lies in her solitary coffin of skin and sarcophagus of furs, peacefully released from her duties and free to lie there like the queen she always knew that she was.

Jose Arcadio, who never really did stay in the seminary as he insisted to Fernanda, comes home, kisses her brow, has her buried, and immediately sets out to find the buried gold that Ursula had so carefully hidden for the proper owner to find.  He is upset to see that it is not directed in his mother’s will, and they happen upon it quite by accident, though he is clearly unwilling to have anything to do with his nephew, the young Aureliano, bastard son of his sister Meme.  He lives out a near-Michael Jackson fantasy with bringing young children into the house, gameplaying and extremely dubious goings-on.  The house is nearly destroyed by the revelers and he expels all the children, but one day there is an anxious knock on the door:

"It was a dark old man with large green eyes that gave his face a ghostly phosporescence and with a cross of ashes on his forehead.  His clothing in tatters, his shoes cracked, the old knapsack on his shoulder his only  baggage, he looked like a beggar, but his bearing had a dignity that was in frank contradiction to his appearance.  It was only necessary to look at him once, even in the shadows of the parlor, to realize that the secret strength that allowed him to live was not the instinct of self-preservation but the habit of fear.  It was Aureliano Amador, the only survivor of Colonel Aureliano Buendia’s seventeen sons, searching for a respite in his long and hazardous existence as a fugitive."  (p. four-ninety two)

And believe me, I still wasn’t ready for this one:  Jose Arcadio and Aureliano do not recognize him, do not remember, and throw him back out into the street.  Here Marquez toys with us, foregoing the expected, or what we have learned may possibly be expected from Marquez even by going far into the offbeat, to twist us again and make us snort with laughter:

"Then they both saw from the doorway the end of a drama that had begun before Jose Arcadio had reached the age of reason.  Two policemen who had been chasing Aureliano Amador for years, who had tracked him like bloodhounds across half the world, came out from among the almond trees on the opposite sidewalk and took two shots with their Mausers which neatly penetrated the cross of ashes." 

Ya gotta appreciate this from an author.  All loose ends are being tied up.  No finger-pointing at the loss of narrative structure.  Hah!  And you though Marquez would have forgotten he left Aureliano Amador escaping the slaughter and leave us to guess that he’d died of old age in the woods?  And the punctuation point of the ashen cross bullseye? 

Such finesse, such perfection.  Yet I still haven’t figured that one out.  The household sanctuary now tainted and lost to all?  Certainly a change in the magic of the house, the life left in its sole two inhabitants…oh wait a moment, another one bites the dust:

"One September morning, after having coffee in the kitchen with Aureliano, Jose Arcadio was finishing his daily bath when through the openings in the tiles the four children he had expelled from the house burst in.  Without giving him time to defend himself, they jumped into the pool fully clothed, grabbed him by the hair, and held his head under the water until the bubbling of his death throes ceased on the surface and his silent and pale dolphin body slipped down to the bottom of the fragrant water.  Then they took out the three sacks of gold from the hiding place which was known only to them and their victim.   It was such a rapid, methodical, and brutal action that it was like a military operation."  (p. four hundred four)

Ursula’s insistance that the rightful owner only be allowed to claim the gold she’d found in the statues and buried has perhaps overtaken the wrongful use of it by Jose Arcadio. 

And this:  It was such a rapid, methodical, and brutal action that it was like a military operation."  The intense ghost of Colonel Aureliano Buendia perhaps leading the attack?  Is there something Marquez is telling us here?  Are the dead trying to teach the living things that they only realized shortly before their own deaths?  Maybe, because there is this last close to this chapter:

"Aureliano, shut up in his room, was not aware of anything.  That afternoon, having missed him in the kitchen, he looked for Jose Arcadio all over the house and found him floating on the perfumed mirror of the pool, enormous and bloated and still thinking about Amaranta.  Only then did he understand how much he had begun to love him." (p. four-hundred four)

Here Marquez seems to have doubly reiterated what we have learned from the deaths of Ursula, Fernanda, and many of the others; the importance of love.

One more thought on Marquez and the way he deals death–which naturally, if you’re dealing with the span of one hundred years in the history of a family, you need do–is the reappearance of some of the characters as "ghosts" although they are not called such.  The line above regarding the dead Jose Arcadio clearly states, " enormous and bloated and still thinking about Amaranta."  This implies that the dead are capable of still thinking.  Thus, whether in a religious context of the spirit–although this family does not seem particularly religious, and Marquez, I am guessing, is Christian-raised if not out-and-out Catholic–or in a belief of history itself continuing to be alive, it denotes a sense of the spirual world beyond the trials and tribulations of the present.  Is it an afterlife, or merely the past?  Does Melquiades gradually and finally fade from the scene because he, as the "Ghost of Christmas Future" has no more to offer to the Buendias, or all of Macondo itself?

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WRITING: In The Moment

Damn.  Four o’clock in the morning.  Last revision in place in the magazine, ready to go.  Six full hours of sleep and listening to the steady drone of the rain, the occasional click of the coffee pot heating, cooling, reheating.  One last proofreading.  One last scan.

Then the story unravels, the times, the spaces, the clashes as they meet, retreat, go their own way.  But I have no right to hold up production.  Nor can I hold back the stories.  The roads are building, the directions clear.  Oh Lord, why now, why only now?

Decisions.  Paths.  Links.

UPDATE:  Dilemna over.  The path taken is the only morally sound one; not holding up something for selfish reasons, and for selfish reasons alone–giving the creative work its due time and effort.

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REALITY: Interference

Was on a hot trail with Marquez, or any author who manages metaphors and whether they know it or not, whether it’s natural or naturally ingrained from experience and if they’re aware or if not, if they smile when they recognize something, frown when it’s pointed out not as they meant.

Poised ungracefully over the keyboard of that part of me that’s grown onto my lap, with title typed, ideas bubbling slow enough to catch them and pin them to screen, yet threatening to simmer to boil.  A simple but audible question asked, an answer brought up from inside, reluctantly raising like bile to my throat, brushing my heart though it gave it its best of wide berth, leaving bruises.  But the thought dies behind lips barely open to whisper the words. 

Once more reality reigns with supreme and unforgiving power, unwilling to share its blunt clarity with the vagary of creative relief.  I’ll chew, eat, digest the real, it is a part that stays with me.  But then I’ll get back to dessert.

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LITERATURE: 100 Years – Maybe the Worst Solitude of All…

Fernanda, widowed by Aureliano Segundo, her children in a convent, a seminary, a school, alone now with Aureliano, the illegitimate son of her elder daughter, retreats back within herself when she finds no one to to immediately work for, no one to immediately blame.  She dons the robe and crown she wore as the Festival Queen when she first visited Macondo. 

"Anyone who could have seen her in front of the mirror, in ecstacy over her own regal gestures, would have had reason to think that she was mad.  But she was not.  She had simply turned the royal regalia into a device for her memory.  The first time that she put it on she could not help a knot from forming in her heart and her eyes filling with tears because at the moment she smelled once more the odor of shoe polish on the boots of the officer who came to get her at her house to make her a queen, and her soul brightened with the nostalgia of her lost dreams.  she felt so old, so worn out, so far away from the best moments of her life that she even yearned for those that she remembered as the worst, and only then did she discover how much she missed the whiff of oregano on the porch and the smell of the roses at dusk, and even the bestial nature of the parvenus.  Her heart of compressed ash, which had resisted the most telling blows of daily reality without srain, fell apart with the first waves of nostalgia.  The need to feel sad was becoming a vice as the years eroded her.  She became human in her solitude."  (p. 392)

How unfortunately true of so many of us.  We see too late that the heartbreak in dealing with honesty and the honest flawed humanness of others is better than living within a cell of self-deception, using words to fend off those who approach, burying our disappointment in avoidance, work, dedication to interests that comfort us more than the touch of a hand on a shoulder. 

And then, to discover it and allow it to soften our soul, even if still in a self-centered sense of what we have lost to our stubborn shells of protection, the poignant horrible loss must be born in that same sterile, inpenetrable shell all alone.

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WRITING: Night Shift

Had I watched tv I would have been asleep perhaps.  I did prepare most properly for bed some hours ago, and slid inside beside the one who somehow loves me.  But even he could not dispel the thinking grinding machinations of the mind so worse than nightmares that are at least not real.

So on to editing, an early morning hour eater that may see me into dawn and sun to burn out thoughts with bright bold color.  But now that too is done, at least to a degree that I can trust myself to know with using half a brain.  Reading too is easy in the silence of the house at hours when all the clever ones are smart enough to sleep.  Marquez speaks; I listen.  I read again to seek, scribbling notes when something stirs inside me.

And lo, at last I write.  I find new paths to story where once there was only one.  I ask but what if instead…and follow out that trail.  Double back.  Go off again–another new direction.  Past, present, future all can change with just a single word to use as signpost for a junction of decision, choice, regret or joyous resolution. 

I am alert to machinations now (Encarta:  plot or intrigue: the devising of secret, cunning, or complicated plans and schemes; a secret, cunning, or complicated plan or scheme designed to achieve a particular end). I am hypertexting.

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LITERATURE: 100 Years – The Flood

The rain of four years, eleven months and two days has devastated Macondo.  Ursula has survived it, and the sun has revived her–as it does me–as a shot of adrenalin that sends her around the house repairing damage and desolation.  But she can only do so much, and sinks back into her age, forgetting who’s who, forgiving the children for using her like a dress-up doll while she was broken in her solitude of decrepitude, and as suspected, she dies. Rebecca, still a recluse in her own home dies.

The second flood wiping out the wicked?  A promise unkept by God Himself?  A scene from Hitchcock’s The Birds after Ursula dies.  A strange half man, half cloven-hoofed creature discovered and hung from a tree.  Oddities, symbols, signs.

Able to board the ark to survival, Fernanda, Amaranta Ursula, and the bastard son of Meme, Aureliano as well as Santa Sofia de la Piedad.

Aureliano Segundo has managed to assure Amaranta Ursula’s education in Brussels by raffling off the land in his own burst of energy and renewed interest in family. And soon after,Jose Arcadio Segundo after a brief open-door policy with the household dies within his little solitary room.  At the same moment, his twin Aureliano Segundo dies as well.

"The bodies were placed in identical coffins, and then it could be seen that once more in death they had become as identical as they had been until adolescence.  aureliano Segundo’s old carousing comrades laid on his casket a wreath that had a purple ribbon with the words: Cease, cows, life is short.  Fernando was so indignant with such irreverence that she had the wreath thrown into the trash heap.  In the tumult of the last moment, the sad drunkards who carried them out of the house got the coffins mixd up and buried them in the wrong graves."  (p. 380)

Strangely sad, that the Segundo twins, possibly switched indenties in youth, switched again at death.  Their final small enclosures of solitary confinement not even their own, but maybe in fact, where they rightfully belong.

And so the next generation leaves Macondo in the midst of its reawakening from the rains that held it suspended, as if the showers of the heavens needed to wash and wash and wash away the layers of changes to return it to some former sense of innocence. 

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LITERATURE: otto #2

Laidback laundry, lawn and layout day.  The Narratives Writers Group’s publication is 102305l just about ready to go to print, awaiting some final inserts and editing.  This issue is honored with the inclusion of two of our blogworld’s finest writers, and will be offered for sale here at Spinning as soon as I figure out how.

Little reading, no creative writing, but editing, copying, pasteing, arranging, and folding underwear.  There’s something creative to be found in these, the lowliest of tasks.  It’s all in the folding.  But on to reading, getting down to the homestretch on 100 Years of Solitude and I’m anxious to move along to the growing mountain of words captured in stories and held captive on pages and pages and pages of books.

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LITERATURE & WRITING: 100 Years – Using the Tools

It is a pleasure for a learning writer to recognize some of the skills practiced to perfection within the pages of a novel.  One of my own writing flaws, that of the run-on sentence, has been played with and twisted into an art form by Cormac McCarthy by forcing it to serve a purpose in pacing, and I’ve just crowned Gabrial Garcia Marquez as the record holder of the longest sentence I believe I’ve ever read.  It starts on page 348 and ends on page 350, two full pages of a single sentence.

How does he manage this?  Well, I have seen it done before, but it is relating the thoughts of Fernanda as she bitches and complains about how her life within the Buendia family is well below that which she expected as righfully her due.  Yes, a non-stop diatribe listing her undeserved troubles.  Obviously, just the length of the sentence confirms the tedium of Fernanda’s complaining "voice."

Action can be built slowly and steadily through the use of a long sentence.  It can be immediate and urgent through the use of short staccato bursts of very short. minimal but action worded sentences.  Structure is a tool.

And so I smugly sit back and realize that I can once again run-off in a long string of words unpunctuated by the jerking effect of periods but allowed instead to weave and twist through story, allowing for a breath, to build once more to apex of a matter that is just as important in the tone and speed presented as the information given.  BUT, it need be for a purpose, matched and suited to the action.

I feel I want to write, to practice this freely, as a child oblivious to all but the immediate moment.  Free to leave the bike out in the driveway, irresponsible until as Mother Editor I see the bike and bring it safely home.

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