WRITING: W/RW

Meaning:  Write/Rewrite

I do enjoy rewriting.  I’m having fun right now manipulating a conversation between a married couple during a harrowing ride in a snowstorm.  They’re headed up to a cabin for a weekend.  They’re talking but not listening.  They’re talking but not saying. There are layers of their days together in what they’re saying, and what they’re not. 

Here’s where life experience comes in.  Watching.  Doing.  Understanding.

But there’s also a problem area in the piece; one that makes no sense at all and yet because I’m too enchanted by the language, I’m having trouble straightening it out.  If it becomes too clear, then the poetry is lost.  But with the poetics, the words, as I say, are ungrammatic and misleading. 

I need new eyes to see through the muddle.

Posted in WRITING | Comments Off on WRITING: W/RW

NEW MEDIA & LITERATURE: The Haunting of Hill House – Form

The title was familiar, the back cover blurb somewhat confirmed it:  I’d seen the 1963 movie based on this novel many times.  The minute I came up upon the character of Eleanor in the book, I thought of Julie Harris’ portrayal in the movie.  Antsy, nervous, making the viewer as scared of Hill House as Eleanor was of life.

There was another updating of this film version, a 1999 production starring Liam Neelson and Catherine Zeta-Jones.  I’ve seen this one too.

As with A Clockwork Orange,  I’m tempted to put together a comparison of text as written by Shirley Jackson with the two videos.  There’s so much to be learned from method, and even if it’s just for my own study, I think it would be well worth the effort to take advantage of the opportunity and explore the nature of the media to learn not only advantages or disadvantages of means of telling story, but to enhance writing skills as well as assist in my playing in the new fields of audio visuals.

Posted in LITERATURE, NEW MEDIA | Tagged | Comments Off on NEW MEDIA & LITERATURE: The Haunting of Hill House – Form

WRITING: Writing.

One of the neatest things about weblogging is that you can piss and moan, whine and decry your fate as an artist, and you’ll get the kick in the ass you may need to get back on track.  (Thanks Josh, Barbara, Loretta, Mark, Anne, Roberta, and all those of you who’ve provided it in the past.) If folks are tired of hearing it, they can easily pretend they haven’t checked your blog in a few days or however long it takes you to get over yourself.  If they’ve "been there" themselves or gone through your own valley-trek with you, they’re quick to respond. 

Anyway, it worked.

I’ve sent out a few more submissions on one story, and came across another one in my files that re-invited some editing.  It’s got a good premise to it, and I see–in reading it now–how I can add some layers within it that would definitely make it more interesting and vibrant.

I also went to re-record the audio in Recycling because I do have faith in the latest version.  After several attempts, I got a good one going without any cars going by to wreck it and was on the last frame when I heard the shop phone ring in the other room.  I finished it as fast as possible, ran to get the phone to hear the "click" of the disconnection.  Sat down again and the home phone rang.  Both calls were from my neighbor asking if I’d seen the mailman.  Needless to say, the recording was a bust.  But I will try it again, likely at some ridiculously quiet hour of night, and with the phones off the hook.

Posted in WRITING | Comments Off on WRITING: Writing.

LITERATURE: The Haunting of Hill House – Hooks

Just a page or two into this, but I’ve learned to try and post thoughts as quickly as possible (except in the case of Barthes, whose words I spend days disentangling to roll into some kind of ball that I can at least make a wild stab at interpreting).

This opening then, from Hill House:

No living organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.  Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more.  (p. 3)

So many great writing tools in use here.  The hook:  hinting at insanity which is always interesting as a topic.  Throwing in larks and katydids, a reality that’s associated with peace, harmony, happy summer days and nights.  That’s a nice contrast to insanity, no?  And to assign them the ability to dream?  And to put it out as a supposition?  Brilliant work.

And then the coup-de-grace, bringing in Hill House as a living thing.  If living, and living a long time, therefore, to endure it has to be insane. 

Note the alliteration:  larks and katydids–the hard k sound softened by the image of the words.  And the next line:  Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within.  Could be lines in a poem.

Wonderfully well done.  I know I’m going to enjoy this book; likely for the story, and most certainly for the writing skill.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | Comments Off on LITERATURE: The Haunting of Hill House – Hooks

REALITY?: Update on the New Year

012607rDoes this look healthy or what?

That’s right folks; despite decades of no breakfast, often no lunch (unless the spirit moves me or sweetie-pie makes bacon and eggs for weekend breakfasts), I’ve adjusted to a high fiber, nutritious bowl of cereal every morning.  I’d do the oatmeal bit, but I only like the cooked one and Jim makes that for himself every morning and I simply cannot face cleaning two bowls and two pots of that gummy mess every morning.

The result?  Well, its likely more the Vytorin drugs, but my cholesterol test just came back at 150 Total.  This is less than half of what my cholesterol was tested at in November.

012607r2 As you can see, I now have an exercise bike (one I’m not likely to fall off of as I have on any other bike from a tricycle to a Harley 350), so I’m continuing on in the best efforts of getting back in shape.

And yes, the books.  Shelves and shelves of books to be read that span centuries of literary content and philosophical ideas.  If you can spot him, Edgar has moved from the office to lounge atop his own spot in the alphabetical march of writers.

The knitting basket’s there too, by the side of the couch on the left of the image, though I haven’t started that sweater yet.

But the bike–does anyone know why or what I’m supposed to do with the handle-bars?  Am I supposed to just adjust them at a comfort level or pump them back and forth as I gaily ride through the living room?

Posted in REALITY | 2 Comments

LITERATURE: The Haunting of Hill House

Figured that something like Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House would put me in the right frame of mind for facing the monsters of Silent Hill again.  It’s been a while since I dealt with anything scary–aside from the lawyers of course.  McCarthy’s characters don’t frighten me; they intrigue.

It’s also relatively short so I’ve also pulled Sinclair Lewis’ Babbit off the shelf as a ready backup.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | 2 Comments

REALITY?: Permanence of Space

Weird dark garage thoughts this morning (if you’re fairly new here, you may not know what this means) about time and space and how they are dependent and yet independent of each other.

It occurs to me that the only things that hold some measure of permanence, relative to humanity, are those things which are inanimate; dead, never having lived.  The earth–but not the things that grow upon it; the sea–even in its cycle of rising to the sky and raining down; a rock.  All else must depend upon reproduction to endure in some form, animal/fish/fowl birth, seeds in plantlife, etc. 

So in my dark little space, even extending it out to approximately a ten x ten foot square, I exist in that space only a few times within my lifetime  (more, if it’s a place I traverse daily).  Others may have existed in this same space: the prior owners of my home, the ones before that, visitors, etc; and prior to the existence of the house, animals surely, an occasional walker in the woods, explorers?, Indians of the Tunxis tribe?

And after me, who or what?  It shall exist as this maybe changed, but never moving, always exactly at this very spot forever.

Or does time remain in place as well?  Layers perhaps?  Simultaneously ticking with living things moving and dying and being reborn all within a given square of space? 

But I shall be long gone.  Or maybe not; maybe consciousness, separated from its brain cells and its burdens of living tissue, endures within that space as well.  Maybe that is the only part of "I" that has some meaning in the pattern.

Posted in REALITY | Comments Off on REALITY?: Permanence of Space

NEW MEDIA: Play Time

Might take a little break from text story to dig out one of the video games I’ve got sitting on the coffee table for the past year.  Let’s see, there’s Scratches, Still Life, Watchmaker, Silent Hill 2 and Silent Hill 3.  I’ve also got a Sims, but Lord knows what a mess I made of that world last time–though not as serious as Zookeeper where I forgot to feed the animals and left some fencing unfinished.

Silent Hill 2 is the one game that got me started on these, and though stubbornly reluctant to try it, I caught the fever and spent many hours of many days walking, running, collecting clues, whacking a monster now and then, but overall, very much into the world of this story.  Then it got messy.  I got killed a few times–though I was told how to save and go back to pre-death time–and it got harder and harder to escape or overcome the enemies.  I believe I left the game about a year ago or more, stuck in an encounter with two baddies and some broad distracting my attention.  I could go back and either shoot my way through them or die yet again.  But I do remember the fear; very real heart-pumping fear.

The Watchmaker seemed much safer, and I started in on that some time last spring or summer.  The problem is that I couldn’t get the guy into the elevator and off the second floor.  It’s an older game, and less easily maneuvered.  I could give this one a go; at least the immediate danger and pressure of facing ugly stretching skinless things isn’t there to deal with yet.

And then there’s Scratches; a game I waited almost a year for to become available.  The graphics look terrific and the mystery seems interesting.  Or Still Life, which I had to have because Scratches wasn’t coming out soon enough for me. 

So I’ll be deciding among one of these.  And even as I consider them the thought occurs:  Even McCarthy’s worst demons couldn’t jump off the page and come after me.

Posted in NEW MEDIA | Comments Off on NEW MEDIA: Play Time

LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Finale

As I said, I wasn’t nuts about Offred, the main character in this novel, and while I’m open-minded enough to accept what an author is laying down as setting, environment, language, etc., I did also have a small problem suspending a belief that the good old U.S.A. could never end up in this society as Atwood has presented it.  If anything, I figured our people would forsake clothing and be running around nude before they’d put on the habit of a nun–or even require others to do so.

But Atwood comes from a background of feminism that seeks the deeper meaning and the possible paths that come from any change in society’s norms and ideals.  She may fear the religious zealot; I fear more the godless liberal.  Both are extremes; both, without the balance of opposing viewpoints and activists, pose potential danger.  I wonder though, if the balance of power were to shift enough, or if some plan were plotted out carefully enough, and if a move were made fast enough, with the power of the internet and the way hackers can tear through it so easily, well, conceivably something could happen to upheave society.

Amazingly, Atwood not only allows the protagonist to escape, while the escape is run-of-the-mill, the way it is handled is brilliant.  At the end of Chapter 46, Offred is taken away in the dreaded black van, but there is the possibility that her lover, Nick, has set this up as an escape rather than sure doom.  At this point, it is up to the reader to play out the ending.

And then, Atwood zooms two centuries into the future to plop us in the middle of a seminar on the Gilead society, as taken from studies done on cassette tapes found and attributed to Offred.  Since the tapes were make after rather than during her time as presented by the novel, we may assume she escaped.  Atwood also takes this opportunity to lay out a bit more of the structure and inception of Gilead, which answers those questions some of us have as readers, but were clearly not necessary to the story itself.  It’s an Ahah, rather than Well, jeez….

And, with Atwood’s natural instinct of keeping her readers thinking about the story long past the last page, even this final historical section ends with the main speaker asking the audience–and the reader–Any questions?

So, while dated and a bit more improbable than when the story was written in 1985, and despite my distance from the protagonist, I’m still in awe of Atwood’s abilities as a writer.  It seemed to me that just when I was getting bored, or aware of a slow pace, or ticked off with a particular scenario, Atwood’s timing brought me back into the story with gusto.  Everything is planned out; everything, is gone over; everything is done well.

I have a few more Atwood’s on the shelf I haven’t read yet and I’ll be looking forward to these as well as ordering perhaps Good Bones and Simple Murders, or one of her newest projects.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | Comments Off on LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Finale

WRITING: Dedication

It’s pretty obvious that I’m in a down cycle on my own writing lately, and while I know I won’t give it up entirely, it’s at the point in the cycle where it can’t be given the priority any more.

There is a pattern I’m seeing, however, and the impetus that conspires with circumstance to drive this tossing away of needs. 

I’ve realized that I’m just getting back responses (rejections) on submissions sent out in November–never something to keep the mood up.  Two other things going on that have pushed me back from the line:  The Crapometer Miss Snark ran over the holidays on 700 hooks, and the current American Idol auditions.

It’s amazing to me, regardless of some of the contrived performances on Idol, that there are folks out there who truly believe they can write/sing, and who sadly, truly can’t. 

Confidence clearly isn’ enough.  It’s great in conjunction with  talent and skill, but without the performance quality, it’s sadly pathetic. 

All these things reminded me that I too can be the fool.

Posted in WRITING | 8 Comments

NEW MEDIA & WRITING: To Do or To Study It?

Damn, just when I make myself believe that I’m done with writing, done with any personal aspirations, I learn something new.  Besides, of course, learning by reading, playing around in new software of games and stories.

I can’t simply just create for my own satisfaction.  For one thing, I’m as needy as any artist with an ego that fluctuates between the extremes of confidence and ability.  For another, I’ll never be satisfied with my own work–few artists are–so that’s like setting the most impossible of goals that turn the ferris-wheel of mood.

I want to move on to another movie clip of another poem or prose work, but what’s keeping me from it is that even though I’ve pretty much tweaked Recycling to death in images (I’ve got about 100 or more used and discarded images just for this alone, using only about a dozen of them in the final version), I’m not willing to send it anywhere as it is with the poor quality audio, yet I’m not–as was the intent–willing to let it just sit on the hard drive without ever being seen again by anyone.  Heck, I haven’t even had the balls (an unlikely possibility anyway) to delete the old versions, nor even the copies of the old versions.

So what am I supposed to do?  Work or move on?

Posted in NEW MEDIA, WRITING | 3 Comments

LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Character Empathy

So as I mentioned, I’m not enthralled with Atwood’s main character and my general feeling was one of her first being a wimp (even her best friend Moira felt this way) for going along with everything so placidly–even while Atwood hammers home the fact of her mother having been a social activist, a manipulator (her first (?) opportunity to infiltrate the system is via her relationship with the Commander, and she uses it), and her rather me-me-me self-victimizing attitude.

Obviously the reason for the arrangement is damaging chemicals that have rendered many of the women barren, or incapable of producing a baby without severe defects.  It would seem to me that if the population is truly in trouble, keeping a young, healthy woman in the service of an albeit properly credentialed older household for two to three years in the hopes of a successfull pregnancy and birth is not the quickest way to solve the problem.  Although I’m sure the government doesn’t want uncontrolled breeding resulting in thousands of defective children.  The couple in each case, a Commander and his Wife, are usually unable to have children and of course, want one.  The handmaid needs to produce or else she may be sent to a worse fate.  Human nature being what it is, the workaround of having a young stud do the impregnating instead of the aging Commander is brought up by the doctors, the girls, and the Wives themselves.  Here, Serena (the Wife) brings a photo of her daughter to Offred as payment for their agreement to allow the chaffeur, Nick, to give it a shot:

I take it from her, turn it around so I can see it right-side-up.  Is this her, is this what she’s like? My treasure.

So tall and changed, Smiling a little now, so soon, and in her white dress as if for an olden-days First Communion.

Time has not stood still.  I has washed over me, washed me away, as if I’m nothing more than a woman of sand, left by a careless child too near the water.  I have been obliterated for her.  I am only a shadow now, far back behind the glib shiny surface of this photograph.  A shadow of a shadow, as dead mothers become.  You can see it in her eyes:  I am not there.

But she exists, in her white dress.  She grows and lives.  Isn’t that a good thing?  A blessing? 

Still, I can’t bear it, to have been erased like that.  Better she’d brought me nothing.  (p. 228)

Offred appears to be upset by the loss of herself in her daughter’s life; more so than with the loss of her daughter.  She appears to resent her child’s life:  Smiling a little now, so soon  —  evidently too soon for Offred’s likes.  She uses the metaphor of "a woman of sand, left by a careless child too near the water."  Laying blame on a child is another resentment of her daughter’s life without her.  And the final lines: "Still, I can’t bear it,…" would seem a true motherly anguish, are spoiled by the self-centered "to have been erased like that."

While this won’t prevent me from rooting for Offred’s escape, I can’t help but find the Commander’s rather sad and more human needs and actions more worthy of my sympathy.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | Comments Off on LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Character Empathy

LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Atwood at Her Best

Finally getting the time-consuming computer problem solved (with a fax machine, second hard drive, and scanner to hook up still plus a camcorder to fiddle with), I’ve gotten back into sitting around eating bon-bons and reading some of the days away.

Before I comment on some of the good, let me point out one thing that has bothered me since I first encountered it early in the book.  On the floor of the closet in her room, Offred finds the inscription, "Nolite te bastardes carborundorum."  She doesn’t know what it means, but takes it as a message from the handmaid who had the room prior to her.  Now she’s a college graduate, having had to take some language, I’m sure.  I find it hard to believe that she couldn’t have arrived at some close general translation.  Even I guessed at "no let the bastards …." before checking it out on the internet. 

A small thing, but I find that something even minor like this sets me at a wary frame of mind, not totally trusting the author enough to fall totally into the story he/she weaves (the bliss, as Barthes would have it).

That said, I’m very admiring of Atwood’s methods in sequencing the plot structure.  We’ve started off with a rather slow story as Offred merely leaves the house to go to the grocery.  But we know something is terribly wrong:  it becomes obvious that she’s on the East Coast of the U.S.A., that a war’s going on, that the social structure has become completely strange, and in it all, she gives us very little bits of information as to how it’s all come about.  But do we have to know?  Offred’s current position appears to be her second one, so we know a few years have gone by since the big change.  We know her husband and daughter are lost to her, and that the three of them tried to escape but were caught.  This is the present, it’s bad enough.  It doesn’t really matter what brought the population to this point, especially since it appears that the story isn’t focusing on any major rebellion that could turn things over again.

Atwood finally lets us know how things came down, but it’s not until page 175 (out of 300), and again, little by little we find out how it personally changed Offred’s life.  At about the same point in the book, Offred’s present is changing as her relationship with the Commander becomes more relaxed and she finds out what happened to the handmaid before her–information she feels gives her some power over the Commander.  Oddly enough, Atwood has her character falling back upon what are known as "feminine wiles" in this silent but evidently still very much alive battle of the sexes.

The pacing at this time in the book is definitely picking up, and Atwood has left several hints that had I posted on them with my immediate reaction, would have shown me to have become quite an astute reader as she comes back to them with a purpose later in the story.

So far, my admiration for Atwood has been fully justified by this book.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | Comments Off on LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Atwood at Her Best

LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Metaphor

Atwood is fairly open with her metaphors, and pretty versatile about the way she uses them.

It’d be hard to say that the whole novel is a metaphor, and yet in certain ways it is: Feminism, religious extremism, government control, gender bias, it’s all here.  Even the dress code of the handmaid’s is metaphorical; red, similiar to a nun’s habit in shape and form.  Oddly enough, after half a book of calling the headress "wings," Attwood finally mentions the word "wimple" which historians and Catholics will immediately recognize.

There are nuances in metaphor, but there are ones made obvious by Attwood, as in the protagonist’s recalling a TV program about the mistress of one of Hitler’s SS commanders.  This is immediately following Offred’s puzzling secret meeting with the Commander, wherein he asked her to play Scrabble with him and sought only that and a good night kiss from her.  Both actions, and the meeting itself, would be forbidden.  The mistress, she remembers, insisted that her lover was not a monster.  But what Offred remembers the strongest: 

Nobody asked her whether or not she had loved him.

What I remember now, most of all, is the make-up.  (p. 146)

The make-up:  Colored over, dressed up, hiding the truth.  Here is where Atwood becomes more subtle with her use of metaphor, and where it is up to the reader–and Atwood doesn’t really like to let the reader misconstrue her meaning–to consider the possibilities.

Posted in LITERATURE | Tagged | Comments Off on LITERATURE: The Handmaid’s Tale – Metaphor

TECHNOLOGY: Windows Media Player

…and other DVD problems that I’ve spent the last three days working on are finally all fixed.  It started, as I mentioned, with the DVD A Clockwork Orange getting messed up after an attempted presentation.  What I didn’t realize was that somewhere in there Media Player was upgraded to version 10 or 11 from 9, which had worked perfectly up till then.

Well, $90 later (see previous posts on the installation of a new DVD player in the home computer that believe it or not, wouldn’t play a DVD without an immediate $60 upgrade!), I do have two pc’s running properly.  For your information, if you get a black or blank screen in Media Player, you may need to download a MPEG-2 Decoder.  I used the Nvidia one here and it works fine for both pc’s.  This link was found via the Plug-Ins menu on WMP.

Great.  Too late for the presentation, and too late for my nephew’s wedding DVD–though he promised to make me a copy–but at least I’m back up and running despite the manufacturer’s evil intents to make me spend more money.

In thinking of going back to school for more classes, and with my current mindset against writing stories as a satisfying course of action, I’m considering taking some pc courses to learn more about not the artistic, but the technical end of computers. 

Maybe that’s where my true talent lies.

Posted in TECHNOLOGY | Comments Off on TECHNOLOGY: Windows Media Player