. Spinning .

Have never really had to do this before; sit down and write something creative without a thought in mind but with a deadline about two weeks away.  That’s enough to sweep the dust of fantasy quickly from the brain and out the ears.

Kind of hard for me to combine the moods of hard reality and flights of fancy.  Cram them both together in a parallel process that still works.  I can usually do so with design, but not with words. 

Although I’m exceedingly grateful to the Muses for their guidance and control these past couple years (although I wish one of them would learn to vacuum or do picture framing while I write), I’m terrified that if I put them off to get down to the nitty gritty of publishing they may just fly away. 

Maybe they already have.  Uh-oh.

Aw, history’s not so bad.  I can turn in a 10-page paper for a required 8-page essay exam and not be told to compress it.

Maybe essays are the way to go…

Well, so it finally snowed on History class night!

While I’m in essay mode, I’m finishing up my Western Civ exam and may start in on the book analysis of Voltaire’s Candide.  Might also do some of the short story analysis beyond the mid-semester requirements for CW, or at the very least, some of the quickie critiques of at least those that have really struck me from Fast Fiction and Sudden Fiction.  Think I’m getting behind on my reading because of the involvement in writing, and need to get back into Suttree and some of the lit journals that are piling up.  Probably need to just assign free time at night to reading rather than writing, and just do a little writing for an hour in the morning instead of four, or all day.  Might even get back into ironing and making dinners. 

As I’ve said here before, I’m a huge fan of workshopping.  Sometimes however, it produces feedback that is unexpected and confusing.  Everything said is legitimate.  But the problem then is to weigh everything and consider what counts and what doesn’t hold enough water to create changes. 

You’re never going to please everyone, but it is eye-opening to see how your work is read–not received, that’s a personal predilection for a style of writing or genre–really understood and read.  That’s what’s telling.  Sorting it all out has left me with a feeling that I’m just not doing it right.  From a stance of total author control, I’ve jumped to a position of vague subtleties that are lost.  Some interpretations of the story made me wonder if it had even been read.  The answer, of course, is yes.  Therefore, I’m back to the writing not being, well, I guess it would have to be "correctly" presented when grounded details are not reinforced and the picture is fuzzy.  An alley that is mentioned several times, that is the entire and only setting, is fed back to you as a bridge underpass.  A disoriented college student becomes a drug-using homeless person. 

That’s poor writing.  You can’t blame the reader, the burden is on the writer.

I think I just have to get away from it for a while.  Overenthusiasm has clouded my vision.

After tonight, I think the only writing I feel like doing right now is essay style. Which is good because I have an 8-pager due for Western Civ tomorrow night.  Maybe it’ll be a good break for me from the useless waste of energy spent in story land.  It don’t take much to encourage me.  But sometimes the effort and hard work just aren’t having any effect and it’s time to walk away.

At least for now.  Don’t even feel like sending the one story I thought was finished out now.  Maybe come September I’ll feel more like it.